Be Excellent To Each Other

I only hope she got more of her mother's genes.

Congratulations mate.

About bleeding time, congrats!

Yay! Congratulations.

Is this our first BeEx baby? Call it Bex in tribute.

Awesome. Awesome to the max. Congratulations Lumpy Woodcock.

Or Jay.

Just because it'd be Jay Z.

Congratulations!

First? At least the third I'm sure.

Congratulations to you both. Hope the babanod is healthy and settles down into a routine quickly.

Wahey! Good work there.

Congratulations Big Z! I hope I'll remember the next conversation we have.

Congrats. Best wishes to all of you.

Congratulations, Zardoz! Although pics or it didn't happen.

Hope it all went well and you avoided having to look at the mucky end.

Congrats Zardoz and it is possible for 2 non-gingers to have a ginger baby...you know, just in case you were wondering.

Conga rats!

I hope you named it Richard Gaywood

Aww congrats!

Cute baby photos please.

Huzzah! Well done you.

Trousers tip for new fathers - babies aren't actually made out of glass. Took me a good 6 months to work that one out.

Congrats to the Zardozs!

Fabulous work Mr & Mrs Z!

Congratulations to Mr, Mrs and Mini Z!

A particularly fine name for a girl, that.

Congratulations to Mrs Zardoz, who has had a lot more to do with this Mr Zardoz.

Thanks everybody. I am completely mashed by the whole event.

First things first I have a BEAUTIFUL baby daughter and Mrs Z is fine.

The story. Apologies for skitishness as I am fucked and need a beer and a sleep. Also there are some bad bits and details missed out for length.

Contractions started 4am on Sunday morning (a mere 2 hours after I stayed up chatting to drunken bums in Nottingham and playing some video games. Throughout the morning contractions came and went, we knew it would be a long slog so we ate well and had a couple of powernaps before we decided to go to the hospital when things escalated.

On arrival at 3pm we were kinda told OMFG TEH N00BS! you should have stayed home longer as Mrs Z was only 1cm dilated. We had the option to stay so we thought we'd hang on and see what we wanted to do, we stayed in the end and moved onto the delivery suite at 7pm when the pain increased and dilation went to 3cm.

Hours of pain and drugs and sweat later we arrived at 11am TODAY when all of Mrs Z's excellent efforts at bringing baby into the world we not enough. We were both completely exhausted, I knew labour could be long but this took the piss. I was so tired and stressed I was having visual disturbances Mrs Z's first batch of pethodine hand worn off and the second hit slowed down the contractions. Nice.

Doctors come in to asses the situation. baby is in an awkward position, so we need to pull her out with a suction cup, if that fails then its a C-section. Not what we wanted to hear, but we no choice but to go along with the decision. I said I wanted to stay with my wife is possible and indeed it was so off we go to theatre and I'm sent off to put on scrubs and wait till shes prepped.

This part of my life was the most helpless, scarred and emotional I have ever been, worst case scenarios flashed through my head and I had to mentally Man Up more than I have ever had to in my life.

Once in the theatre things went worse, Mrs Z was only spinally numbed rather than under general anasthetic so I sat next to her and comforted her and bigged her up while we heard every last detail of what the docs & nurses did to thry and get baby out by suction. This is in no way good. Thenthings went worse, when they discussed how it didn't work and now it's slice time. The sounds I heard in that operation will stay with me forever.

Then baby Z was pulled out, Mrs Z and I looked at each other and cried pure joy. Fuck me she was the most beautiful thing I'd seen and strong as an ox. Througout EVERYTHING babys stats were super awesome.

I am now a proud father and an even prouder husband. This has been the biggest emotional event in my life.

MarkG is on his way now for a beer.

This is good.

Why does he get one? Honestly, priorities, man!

Seriously, congratulations - sounds both amazing and terrifying all in one.

Congrats mate. Sorry I didn't chat on saturday, but the masses of beer was getting to my head.

Didn't stop Myoptika though.

Gratz!

You should give yourself a pat on the back. Yes, I know Mrs Z did all the work, but she'll get loads of attention. Sometimes people forget how hard it is to be the father at a birth.

Well done mate! It sounds like you and Mrs Zee have gone through the wringer, but I can tell from your post that you're so proud - congrats!

Congrats mate - nice work!

Many congrats, and all the best to Z Jr! That was a wonderful story, even if it was hammered down in a hurry.

Congrats. I for one welcome your new baby overlord.

Does the new Lady Z look at all like Dimrill?

Aside from the lack of hair, that is.

Wow, quite a story, glad it had a most excellent and happy ending.

Congrats to both you and your good lady, and a happy Birthday to Little Miss Zardoz

congrats Z! didn't know did was happening..

oh and i think my baby will be right handed, so i was happy to learn to even with 2 lefties the chance of a leftie is only 26%

Hearty congarats from all at mali Towers.

We're both right handed as is everyone in mine and the wife's family with the exception of my Dad yet Megan is left handed.

<Harry Hill>What are the odds of that happening eh?</Harry Hill>

Congratulations to the Zardozzzzes.

Depends who her real father is I suppose.

Congratulations to the new family!! I can only imagine how much stress would have been involved in such an event but I'm sure it'll all be worth it!

Good work!!

Handism not being genetically inherited it hardly matters. The postman's secret is therefore safe.

Extra congrats to Mrs Z, Zardoz. We were blessed enough to have two very straightforward, relatively quick births, and they were fucking horrible enough, so I can only imagine what a rollercoaster that must have been for you both! Still, she gets a super cool scar now, and can tell mates it was from when she was in the Marines.

Enjoy being a dad - it's the best.

Good, I've just been put off having children even more. It'd be far easier if they just popped out and that was it. Or they were found under a gooseberry bush.

Seriously, heartfelt congrats from me. Is this your first?

You'd better go for a quick Zardoze now so you're fresh for when they come home.

Good work, Z.
Now the hard bit starts

See! The puns! I warned you it was him!

Hooray! Congrats Mr, Mrs & Lil' Z! That's a beautiful story, I'm really pleased for you all.

Just wanted to add my congrats as well to the Zardozians. I'm really very happy for you, but don't forget to register the kid with Bookstart at the GP, so he gets his free boko-books and stuff.

Here's hoping you get remarkably few sleepless nights (hah!) and a wonderful future together. Etc.

congrizzle to you and your new babizzle.

In the words of The Bloodhound Gang, Hooray for Babbies. Well done family Z

Coff coff

Did you call your offspring Bex? DID YOU?

Actually, Rebecca is a nice name for a girl, and does shorten to Bex

No, but only because Gaywood was available.



This is true.

However, even if they pick Rebecca for non-nerdly internet reasons, if Zardorina ever finds out about this place she'll kill her dad.

Hurray! My name lives on!

It's not like any of us would ever tell her.

I think the two [beex]Samuel's should fight for Zardorina's hand.