Be Excellent To Each Other

Use of the word "rota" is grounds for immediate eviction as far as I'm concerned.

I'd like a rota, as I say I'm happy to clean, I just don't think things are dirty enough (or even notice) until other people have already done them. Without a rota I end up not cleaning because other people get there first.

He sounds like a great bloke!!!

He used to let us watch him play a wide variety of game. Yep he only had the one. Crazy Taxi I think. He traded in a N64 with dozens of games for a Dreamcast with Crazy Taxi.

Dick.

He didn't like me pointing out that gta3 basically had the whole of crazy taxi in it as a throwaway sub-game.

This man you speak of must die. The Gods have spoken.

I'm thinking of assigning a zone to each housemate. I'll take the toughest one - the kitchen. The second tidiest can take the living room. The two semi-slobsters between them can do the bathrooms and the chief slobster can do the hall and landing in a 'damage minimizing' delegation.

So there's no rota, just Berlin style zones. But will it work? Hmm...

Whoever dislikes dirt the most will end up doing all the cleaning, as they'll get fed up of waiting for anyone else to get round to doing their bits, in my experience.

Probably because it doesn't, unless GTA also has "the whole of Gran Turismo in"

So that's where I'm going wrong in our 'shower hour' communal body scrubbing!

Which is why you have a rota. I do my specific dirt (dishes/room). If you want me to do communal stuff you WILL have to ask me if you notice dirt before I do. Then I'll clean it, but don't do it and then sulk like one of my flat mates does.

Ah, that's why I said 'basically'. The essense of crazy taxi, the basic 50p per go in an arcade type game can be recreated with GTA3. I agree there's little of the depth that the full game offers.

As for Gran Turismo... imagine having to take a license test before beginning GTA?

"Test 3.1 - Car Jacking - Stomping the driver after ejection is optional but prevents the owner 'jacking back' and removes the satisfaction of squishing said owner with their own vehicle"

OK - Duds, I've noticed my bathroom needs cleaning. Please sort this out.

My mate X-Files used to share a room when he was in halls at Uni, and I sometimes went up to visit him. Once, his roommate was out, and X-Files told me how odd his roommate was, and showed me some of the wierd things he had.
One such thing was a display of Frijj (sp?) milkshake bottles, three of them, with the labels torn off. X had asked him why, and he said they all had different smells. I checked, and indeed they did - strawberry, banana and chocolate.
Apparently, when the roommate got back, he was in the room for less than ten minutes (X was playing on his PC, facing the wall) when he started to shout at him for touching his stuff - it turns out I'd put the (absolutely identical apart from the smell, don't forget) bottles back in the wrong order.
That's odd.

Having a mate called X-files is odd too.

Says fucking "Zardoz".

I had a psychotic housemate who used to shout and scream and bawl at me for not dropping whatever I was doing (including but not limited to, being in my room, in my bed, with girls, on a weekend morning) IMMEDIATELY and coming to help whenever she decided to do the cleaning. This included but was not limited to turning off the power shower while I was in it (also sometimes with girls) as 'revenge'.

I had another housemate who came up with a Grim... style list of 'house rules' to follow. Except, he'd written them, so all his 'penalties' were based on things that he never did anyway, while all of ours were all but impossible to avoid. Suffice it to say, we told him to get fucked, the fucking cunting posho only child smug cunt.

She interrupted you having threesomes? The bitch.

Sadly, no, just one girl. Though there were two girls in the room if she (housemate) burst in.

My housemate sharing went like this:

Uni 1st Year: Me and 7 random people who stole my bread. Two girls argued so much with one of the lads over an accidentally drunk bottle of pepsi that the two girls moved out to another hall, to be replaced by two more girls who were right cockney geeezaaaaas. Nothing else of note.

Uni 2nd Year: Lived with LaceSensor and two other people, one of whom was a mild cunt by refusing to chip in for the internet until I eventually went mental at him for freely using the other housemate's PC whenever desired. He also decided to drop out at the end of the 1st year, making him liable for council tax that he was not happy to pay for himself. Cunt.

Uni 3rd Year: Lived with 3 guys in a flat, two of whom I knew, and one random guy who eventually left and was replaced by an Asian chap from Oman who clearly had never been drunk before coming to this country, and so spent most of the time drunk and/or stealing any alcohol we had in the flat. Cunt.

Post-Uni: Lived with one guy in a shared flat, who was entirely reasonable except for the time he used my kitchen roll because he'd run out of toilet paper. Cunt. Gf moved in towards the end of the year.

Thereafter: Lived with gf, which was fine until she moved out 7 weeks ago. Living by myself has a lot of merit

I used to live with a guy who was always the last to leave the house for work in the morning (there were 3 of us), and he would always have a piss just before he left, and not flush. The toilet was next to the radiator, so the house always smelt of warm piss when you got home from work.

He flat out denied it every time - as if there was some odd burglar who was neatly breaking in, urinating, and leaving again every single day.

That's just my internet celebrity handle.

Hmm... I wonder if there are forums out there where all of our old flatmates are congregating and ranting about us

We probably are, unknowingly, each others' old flatmates.

I am ALL of your housemates.

Except mine

If I ever knocked you down and threatened you with death after you peed on the floor while drunk, sorry and all that.

It was no less than I deserved.

You're a Danish guy into erotic comics who drank pot fulls of tea and ate mostly noodles with ketchup who spunked most of his grant on a classic Norton?

I'd quite like to be, to be honest.

And a 6'6" Austrian skinhead who became a buddhist monk, changed his name to "Kigan San" and smoked a big Gandalf pipe?

That's a bit strong - do you really begrudge him a few squares of kitchen roll in his hour of need? Unless he left the used pieces on the roll...

You would also listen to Danish rap constantly and have bad breath and stoopid hair.

Or waddled into the kitchen with his pants round his ankles, swiped the kitchen roll from your hands, and used it there and then before handing it back.

No, but once you've taken a nearly new roll into the pisser and left it on the floor, you can bet I don't want to use the rest of it for any other purpose. I was aggreived.

Was this the start of all the anger CG?

I believe that was the 22nd year of my anger at the time.

As one of Deano's "Type Bs", I suspect living with anybody who isn't the sort of raving homosexual who gets out of the shower to take a piss is always going to be hard work.

Fair point, ripping off a few squares and leaving the rest of the roll in the kitchen would've been the polite thing to do.

What happened to CUS's opening post anyway? Has he been nuked?

The thread got split, you can still see all the craziness here.

Nope, CUS isn't nuked. This is stripped out from another thread to keep it on topic. I think.

My housemate chronology was as follows:

1st year university: halls, sharing a flat with two other Steves and an Angolan guy called Victor. The end result is that we were called Canadian Steve, Big Steve and Greek Steve. And Victor. While reasonably decent chaps, they were all hard drinking, hard smoking slobs who lived to womanize and watch football - half of which I wasn't into, so we didn't really become bezzie mates or anything.

2nd year university: house, sharing with three guys and a (posh) girl. Guy one was the aforementioned smug twat, guy two was an excellent, hard drinking mobile phone salesman who used to shit out half his bodyweight (and he wasn't a large chap) and leave enormous stains in the toilet pan. Guy three was a perverted Norwegian DJ. The girl was a friend of the smug twat. We also somehow ended up with a mysterious second girl, who we dubbed 'Mrs X'. She was Eastern European, was the boyfriend of the lavishly named bouncer 'Toni Oni' and loved to watch Happy Days with us.

3rd year university: same house, sharing with three girls and a guy. Girl one was the posh one from the previous year. Girl two was the crazy one mentioned earlier (she blames all her nuttiness on the stress of her degree). Girl three was a sexy drama student who used to get mercilessly drunk and bring her rude friends around to insult us. Guy was a Spanish music student.

After university: Huge house, Richard Gaywood and his two mates Toby and Nick. Became rather like Grim...'s house, in that Top Gear (and Jackass, and Die Hard) were worshipped, as was the barbecue, the Xbox, the file sharing site and technology in general.

I loved that house.

Aha. Ahaha. Eavesdropping on people is the best, isn't it? How else do you find out exactly how many utter fucking lies people are spreading about you?

Grnnnrgh. Not happy. How much are people charging for a shed these days?

Oh yeah, sorry about that. Your bog handle was unpleasantly rusty, see.