Be Excellent To Each Other

With the car I drive, it happens to me a lot too. A lot of the time it'll happen at a junction where they're in the lane to the right of me. If I'm at a junction in this situation where I can turn left, I'll often wait until they're to the side of me and then flick my indicator on to let people behind know I'm turning left.

They can't see the indicator and they rev their engine and goad me into trying to beat them off the lights, so I look back at 'em and rev the engine up too, perhaps lifting the clutch off a bit to make the car lurch forward a little bit, for show. The lights change to green and they raz off the lights, and I just calmly drive forward and immediately turn left, making them look a bit twattish.

I know of at least one occasion where I've done this and a police car has been waiting a bit further up the road and has pulled them over. Idiots.

The best comes when they're only watching you, not the lights. So you lurch forward, they accelerate into the junction and die horribly.

I always drive off fast(est) if I'm at the front of traffic lights. Just something to do, really.

On the way down from Cumbria on Sunday I ended up travelling down to Bootle from the M58 nearby a Boxster. I did my normal, gentle accelerating to 3k rpm before changing up (which is still quite noisy and quick, unavoidable really), and he'd scream off before getting caught by the next set of lights. Repeatedly, all the way down a few miles of 40mph limit (which I stuck to). At the last set I thought 'fuck it' and matched him.

He was not amused that a ropey-looking (and sounding) 11 year old barge with two occupants (one a rather overweight me) was easily as fast as his 3 year old crotch rocket with just tiny little him in. At least I assume so by the way he ignored me instead of returning my cheery grin as I changed to a sensible gear at the speed limit and he belted off and a police car went the other way (ignoring both of us, not that I'd done anything wrong).

Fun fun.

Yay, petrol has dropped again here. 108.9p!

Still monstrously expensive, but it's dropped 9p so far.

You are Marty McFly AICMFP

Sometimes when I'm driving on the motorway I'll randomly shout '88 MILES AN HOUR!!!' as I approach 90.

You are suggesting that your automotive transport travels at 88 miles an hour? Surely you jest, sirs.

Man wasn't meant to live at such speeds! How on earth do you survive the terrible forces inflicted on the human body at such velocities?

By travelling in something that isn't French.

It would be much better if you randomly travelled through time as you approached 90.



Hey!

Played for and got!

Bah.

(I actually quite like French cars and was considering getting a 306 GTI-6 or 406 Coupe at one point.)

I have to admit, on my way in to work in the morning, if I'm first at the lights coming off the junction of the M40 and on to the A-road up to my workplace, I do rather like planting my foot firmly to the floor as soon as the lights change and getting up to 70 in the shortest time possible. The engine in my car is nicely warmed by all the 28 miles of motorway driving by this point and the sound my car makes when you're revving the tits off it puts a very childish smile on my face.

Also Comical, I'm afraid you're not alone. The dash in my motor has a digital speedo and lights up like a Christmas tree, so with a little imagination one can achieve a nice faux-Flux Capacitor effect.

I am a very sad man.

Renault 5 GT Turbos were awesome little cars, until they all fell apart.

Or tried to turn a corner.

Huh? They went round corners really well, unless you were a total spaz and tried to corner with the front wheels spun up.

I remember them being quite rubbish at cornering - perhaps I'm misremembering.

Do - I had the 306 Rallye, which was basically the GTI-6 but stripped down, and it was brilliant. Only got rid of it because I'm fat and lazy and wanted a comforto-mobile.

Don't fret, chaps, I also tell the missus to 'switch on the flux capacitor'.

Nah, they were light*, low slung and had pretty wide tyres.

*Possibly too light, I remember a lad I used to know crashing his outside my parents house. Someone pulled out on him so he swerved and hit the pavement whereupon the whole car folded behind the front seats.

I will, at some point, own a Honda S2000. Almost purely because of it's dashboard layout, as it reminds me very much of THE FUTURE.

As imagined in 1982.

If you want that, get a Corvette C6.

Because it has a HUD, and therefore wins.

I hope Gaywood doesn't mind my posting the link to his Ass-tra GTE's dashboard (which he was so fond of)



The car itself wasn't quite as excitingly futuristic.

My Astra had this dash:

OH YES! OH YES! BEATEN BY ONE MINUTE!

I'm disappointed the speedo didn't read 88mph as you took the photo...

You double-mega-win because I posted a link to someone's Youtube, whereas you posted a link to my own photo which I didn't know was on Eggwan. A WINNAR IS YUO

That's quite difficult to arrange by yourself, as I shot on about a quarter-second exposure. That'd be tough whilst driving.

I always liked how the rev counter is arranged into the power graph.

It's aces on a stick.

Hah! That pic was taken the day I sold it, by the new owner.

Glimpse... teh futuur!!!

I'm afraid to say this dash was actually a significant factor in me buying the car.

I've got the previous mark Civic and it definitely is an improvement.

I was going to say 'no wonder you were happy', but I recall its replacement was your dad's old car, but being sold to you by your mate.

No, not at all! I replaced the Astra with the Calibra. My dad's Cavalier was sold to Martin, who sold it to Nick, who sold it to some bloke from CPW, whereupon it was stolen and used in some sort of ill-conceived robbery (I think). See?

I beg your pardon. So many of you changed cars multiple times in our house I think I lost track.

I miss the Micra. The way it would sometimes start rocking violently from side to side as it was only firing on one cylinder was marvellous.

Just watching a programme called 'Accidental Heroes', which seems to be akin to the old 999 show.

The first accident is about a girl who managed to flip her car, trapping either her or her passenger (I've paused it through being gobsmacked) underneath the wreck.

Here is a direct quote from the driver:



What a fucking inconvenience that must have been, you idiot.

Sort of forgot the car was moving, did you?

I followed someone like that the other day, he spent more time looking at and talking to his passenger than looking ahead.

And MASSIVE PROPS to the people who ignore all the arrows painted on the lanes and the signs that repeat this information (left lane goes LEFT, middle and right lanes AHEAD ONLY) and then realize 'shit, I wanted to go left!' and so fuck the middle and left lanes FORCING their way out. Such as a plonker this morning doing this very thing.

Am I alone in, if I realize I've missed a bend or am in the wrong lane and cannot move over without causing massive inconvenience, just carrying on and turning around to come back?

No, but such is our rarity I think we're classed as freaks.

The best is when there are two lanes, either of which are to go straight on, but each separates traffic going left or right. You'll inevitably get some dozy twat first in line in the left lane, realising he's in the wrong one, and holding up the entire lane by sitting there with his right indicator on, desperately hoping someone will let him in. Even better if a coach does it.

Some bastard parked massively inconsiderately last night. Sideways across the M62. Upside down. Ten minutes they added to my homeward journey. I mean.

This 4-5 hour total closure of the eastbound M62 around rush hour, causing gridlock and massive police deployment, hasn't even made the local news sites. It didn't even get onto the BBC Travel information page, when I checked (3 hours after it happened/closed the motorway, while it was still closed). Although it was on the radio traffic alerts.

In my workplace's parking garage there's a section specifically set aside for those of us who arrive on two wheels.

Some UTTER FUCKING TWAT, instead of parking perpendicular to the wall as the rest of us do, parks his shite 50cc scooter parallel to the wall. Which means two bikes now can't go perpendicular there, as we'd either be sticking out into the lane for vehicles to get out of the garage, or prevent this UTTER FUCKING TWAT from getting his stupid scooter out.

Pick it up and move it.

The ease of doing so will be greatly dependent on whether or not he's got his steering lock on.