Be Excellent To Each Other

I once freed a cow that had got its head stuck in a gate. If you're a city type, you may not understand just how frickin' huge and scary cows actually are in real life, and so how MASSIVELY MANLY AND COWBOY-TASTIC that makes me. Trust me, you want to touch me now.

Having said that, First Born, who is 18 months old and all of 2 foot tall, hasn't realised that they're big and scary either, despite walking past them regularly. He has instead taken to running up to cows on the Common going "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" whilst waving his arms around, and then stopping a couple of feet away and staring at them. This, amusingly, scares the cows more than it does him.

Coming out of some scary woods on a night hike I saw what I thought were torchlights moving on the cusp of a nearby ridge. I had already called out a cheery 'hello' when my friend pointed out that they were cows, and those lights were the reflections of our torches in their eyes.* This might explain my dating problem.

* Yeah, I know about nightvision. But those woods were scary so I wimped out and had turned the head torch on.

Yes, cows can be scary. I was chased by a spooked cow on a cross country run when I was a kid. Luckily, a man whacked it with his umbrella and it ran away.

Hurrah! But plenty of people don't. And at 6am, that is kind of understandable as well - even I might well just keep walking and hope someone else would deal with it at that time of day, partly so I wouldn't be even later, and partly because at that time of day I wouldn't have the cognitive faculties to read the collar anyway.

Pictures of cats. Now.

A friend of mine lost a cat leg earlier on her cat "Isaac" and is now trying to fight against "Trisaac" as a nickname.

my cat Ninja is the longest cat available.

Stalker is such an ugly word, I much prefer the term 'Admirer'...much, much better and friendlier.

"Freelance Surveillance Agent."

If that's the weirdest piece of phrasing you've encountered from me then we're fine. We don't actually know how he broke it I believe, the vet was going to pin it but it turned out to be uber-shattered.

Will facebook.

Still not the best cat names, Lowtax over at SA called his "Stupid" and "Cat" which must save time.

Very good of you to offer to help like that. Walking back from the train station one evening I came across (steady) a very drunk, shambling, teenage girl. She was by herself and couldn't have been much older than 14 and looked a bit upset. Shamefully I gave her a wide berth and went home for my tea, fearing that any attempt to help would be met with cries of 'RAPE!' etc.

My Nan (recently passed away) called her cat "Sod".

When she had to have the cat put down, my nieces and nephews asked her where it had gone, so she said "He's sodded off." and left it at that.

Sometimes I can be horribly naive. A friend once ordered a bottle of Wagner's cider, paid for it and opened the bottle, then remembered that he didn't like it. I had my eye on a couple of ladies on the next table so offered them the bottle. To my disappointment, they refused. It was only on the way home I realised why.

My parents have a cat called Tilly. However, she used to have the much better name of Storm. I'm cat-sitting next week so I'll take a picture of her doing something stupid (happens most days).

I had a semi-stalker back in Manchester. I hope she doesn't follow me down here.


Also: Facebook gives me a stalkerish mentality.... I always feel like I should add people I've just met so I can read their daily goings on and knock one out over their pictures.

What's sick about Animal Farm? Apart from the despicable betrayal of the proletariat?

Are you in the BETEO Facebook group? *deletes pictures*

Devilman is certainly on there.

I notice you saw through my plan of hiding in plain sight.

Yeah, I am and you have I need to put some mention of devilman on my profile I think. I'm the one playing the Guitar Freaks game in my profile pic.

Next doors cat is called Mouse.

Shows how often I get them - I didn't realise it notified me by email of them!

Cats are incompatible with my pet species of choice. Other than that, they're awesome.

I just realised I can now make a snake joke AND delight shin!

Not snakes, though snakes are also incompatible with my pet species of choice.

This is truly excellent.

My two boys are called after members of TC's gang. Bennie the ball and Choo Choo.

T S Eliot did most of the good cats names in Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats.

Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called the hidden paw
For he's the master criminal
Who can defy the law...

Ding! Ding! Rats it is...

RAAAAARRRRRR!!! CUM'ERE, KITTY!

Also...

"She's the greatest, she's fantastic! Wherever there is danger she'll be there..."

Danger Rat? Doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

I agree she needs better PR, but little Noodle is a fearless little bugger, who goes to often extreme lengths and death-defying gymnastics to steal any packets of Polos I might have lying around my room. If I could somehow channel her Polo-stealing powers to work for the forces of good...

When did this thread become about cats?

Cats are awesome.

I hope you cleaned up your cat-esque oops afterwards.

surely rats with good PR are squirrels?

Our cat is called Tesla after Nikola Tesla, thought normally we just call her Tess or Mister (sometimes Miss) Kittles.

Do you perform behavioural conditioning experiments on her using electric shocks?

The best cat names are those of infamous dictators. Stalin and Mussolini in particular. Genghis is also pleasing.

The old favourite of course being Chairman Miaow.