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 Post subject: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:43 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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Yeay!

Turns out their plenty of opportunities for Astronomers in the corporate world. Kick ass!

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:44 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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Ohh, don't want to link whore, heres the text:
Quote:
I wanted my 100th post to be a celebration, but unfortunately I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days and I've decided to end the blog. As some of you know I'm coming to the end of my PhD and I've been thinking about what to do next.

I'm doing an Astrophysics PhD you see, and thanks to the £80 million deficit that has hit UK astronomy since PPARC merged with the STFC Astronomy in the UK is almost dead in the water.

Combine this with a blossoming commercial exploitation of astronomy that currently in a vibrant upswing and I've inevitably had to leave academia.

But thankfully not science!

Massive datasets are a great commercial asset at present (think google maps), and I've a new job where I'll be using my scientific and computational modelling skills to combine the Sloan digital sky survey with user data, to work out positional vectors between the earth (at a specific time) and the vast numbers of celestial objects in the catalogue, including galaxies, quasars and stars. I'll even be utilising WMAP - the earliest image of the structure of the Universe ever taken.

This will lead to a radical improvement in various fields of predictive science. One I feel I can be at the forefront off. Hence I'll be involved with the launching of the first Astrophysical Prediction Survey service to combine tried and tested astro-psychological research with the massive datasets Astromoners are returning like Sloan and the WMAP survey.




The idea that your nature can be predicted by the motion of 9 planets will look quaint and positively ridiculous once I've finished processing the 200 million celestial objects in the Sloan Catalog.

That and Astrology pays better. But it's contradictory topic to the blog, so I'm afraid i've got to let the blog go.


Means i'm ending the blog though :(

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:45 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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An april fool?

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:45 
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Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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Bah! I enjoyed reading your blog too.

Edit: has I bin sucked in?

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:47 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Huzzah for being able to do something you enjoy and getting paid for it!

*looks suspicious*

You're not going to be working for a forrin company, are you?

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:47 
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Excellent! Good luck chap! So the PhD is finished?


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:49 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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You can't fool me for a second! This isn't true at all. I know you've been winding a mate up with this for a few days and are jsut trying to push him over the line.

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:51 
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Location: Manchester, UK
Brill news Lave, congrats!

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:55 
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lazy eye patch

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Hooray! That's often the best of news. I hope it doesn't suck.

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:56 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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Errr. It's a (terrible) April Fools. No Job for me, I'm afraid.

I've spent the last few weeks explaining to an (astronomer) friend that I'm fed up with Astronomy and selling out to make money off my Doctorate by promoting Astrology (something that would indeed earn me more than Astronomy ever will). And he's been buying it.

Angrily buying it. So I put that up today to see if I could push him over the line.

So I posted it here on a whim. :oops:

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:56 
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Skillmeister

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I was has bin sucked in! Oh my robotic monocle face is in my hands.

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:58 
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Gogmagog

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MaliA wrote:
You can't fool me for a second! This isn't true at all. I know you've been winding a mate up with this for a few days and are jsut trying to push him over the line.


HA! Didn't fool me!

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:02 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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Dimrill wrote:
I was has bin sucked in! Oh my robotic monocle face is in my hands.


Indeed I can exclusively reveal that Dimrill has made my Blogs mascot:

Image

It's a sceptical robot see.

It's going up on the site next (somehow).

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:15 
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INFINITE POWAH

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
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You're a ghastly person. I shall reserve any congratulations when you *do* get a job, you awful man.

;-)

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:21 
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Cunt


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:26 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 8018
Location: Cardiff
*Chuckle*

I got it on second read through, fortunately before you announced. First time round I thought, "Yay for Lave! Shame about the blog though. Hold on, I don't understand anything about this predicative stuff, best read that again 'cos it sounds interesting and I'm probably a bit dim in not getting it...'

'Hold on, astrology? Ho ho! The wag.'

By the way, I forgot to say in the other thread, I do love your avatar. And after realising what its from the other month, punched the air with "I've worked it out!" glee. It's from Edvard Munch's 'The Superman Scream' isn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:39 
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Chinny chin chin

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Bugger it, I was hoping that Lave could become our official "Stars" person. Like Mystic Meg, but a man.


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:42 
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Lave you cunt, I almost offered you my heartfelt* congratulations too.




*not really, HAHA, APRIL FOOL


Do hope you find a job soon though.


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:43 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Haha, nice one.

My degree dissertation projecty thing was on astronomy (specifially on sharpening the seeing of large optical telescopes via the use of adaptive optic systems).

I ended up working in risk management.

*shrugs*

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:47 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Curiosity wrote:
Haha, nice one.

My degree dissertation projecty thing was on astronomy (specifially on sharpening the seeing of large optical telescopes via the use of adaptive optic systems).

I ended up working in risk management.



What, like advising people to "be careful to check that the telescope is properly secured before using it, or you might break it"? ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:50 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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chinnyhill10 wrote:
Bugger it, I was hoping that Lave could become our official "Stars" person. Like Mystic Meg, but a man.


See this is the thing. Jonathan Cainer (the daily mail guy) makes £2 million a year.

And I could totally make money bullshitting about the Sloan Survey and WMAP. Just some shit about adding up the total mass within the region on the sky that each Sign of the Zodiac resides.

Then some bullshit press release about how a "Dr" has found Taurus being the heaviest star sign, and The Super Massive Black Hole in the Milky Way causes Libra's heart ache, would make it in some worthless rag.

And bam charlatan status guaranteed.

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:51 
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Kinda Funny Lookin'

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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I'll have to dig out the copy of Private Eye I was reading a couple of days ago. There was a piece on the dire state of British Astronomy with an ever so helpful quote from the chair of the Science Council on unemployed post grads and astronomers, something to the effect of "Well, they can get a job in the City".

V. Helpful

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:51 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Mr Chris wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Haha, nice one.

My degree dissertation projecty thing was on astronomy (specifially on sharpening the seeing of large optical telescopes via the use of adaptive optic systems).

I ended up working in risk management.



What, like advising people to "be careful to check that the telescope is properly secured before using it, or you might break it"? ;-)


I really wouldn't know. I plagiarised the entire thing from the ESO website...

:)

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:53 
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INFINITE POWAH

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
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I meant the risk management job...

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 13:22 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 8018
Location: Cardiff
Lave wrote:
See this is the thing. Jonathan Cainer (the daily mail guy) makes £2 million a year.

And I could totally make money bullshitting about the Sloan Survey and WMAP. Just some shit about adding up the total mass within the region on the sky that each Sign of the Zodiac resides.

Then some bullshit press release about how a "Dr" has found Taurus being the heaviest star sign, and The Super Massive Black Hole in the Milky Way causes Libra's heart ache, would make it in some worthless rag.

And bam charlatan status guaranteed.


It's really terrible having moral scruples, isn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 13:33 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
Yeah, it is.

A life of being a con artist would be much more fun. Maybe I could be for a year, and then write a book about it....

Hmmm...


Also:
MaliA wrote:
MaliA wrote:
You can't fool me for a second! This isn't true at all. I know you've been winding a mate up with this for a few days and are jsut trying to push him over the line.


HA! Didn't fool me!


This got me for a good five seconds you devious little swine.

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The Rev Owen wrote:
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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 13:55 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
nervouspete wrote:
By the way, I forgot to say in the other thread, I do love your avatar. And after realising what its from the other month, punched the air with "I've worked it out!" glee. It's from Edvard Munch's 'The Superman Scream' isn't it?


Aye, cheers, I'm very proud of it. In a strange way.

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The Rev Owen wrote:
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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 16:09 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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I've often thought it would be an interesting project to make a program that automatically generated horoscopes. Feed in a few years worth from the papers, press the big read button and watch perfect horoscopes come splurging out, ready to be sold to the papers for 50k a week. It would also then be interesting to see which were rated as being more accurate.


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 16:41 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Likewise.

The Amazing Randi claims* that when he was young he worked at a magazine and did the horoscopes by just moving the 'scope down one each month. And no one noticed.

*semi seriously

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 17:28 
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Lover of semicolons

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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A little while after I finished secondary school, my mother bumped into my Physics teacher, who asked what I was studying in college. She informed her that I was doing an astrology course.

It's astrophysics, Mum. :(


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 17:34 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Cathy wrote:
A little while after I finished secondary school, my mother bumped into my Physics teacher, who asked what I was studying in college. She informed her that I was doing an astrology course.

It's astrophysics, Mum. :(


That happens to me all the time.

The last time I was in a bar with an extremely drunk girl going round and round in circles.

Urgh.

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The Rev Owen wrote:
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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 17:47 
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Chinny chin chin

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Squirt wrote:
I've often thought it would be an interesting project to make a program that automatically generated horoscopes. Feed in a few years worth from the papers, press the big read button and watch perfect horoscopes come splurging out, ready to be sold to the papers for 50k a week. It would also then be interesting to see which were rated as being more accurate.


Remember those type in "Biorhythm" things you used to get in computer mags in the early/mid eighties? They would calculate your mood etc just from your birthdate.

Utter bollocks of course and the output often seemed almost random. I wonder how the calculated it in a few lines of code.


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 17:47 
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Chinny chin chin

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Lave wrote:

The last time I was in a bar with an extremely drunk girl going round and round in circles.

Urgh.


Was it Heather Mills after you'd hidden her wooden leg?


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 17:51 
SupaMod
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chinnyhill10 wrote:
Heather Mills

Wood.

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 18:05 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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chinnyhill10 wrote:
Remember those type in "Biorhythm" things you used to get in computer mags in the early/mid eighties? They would calculate your mood etc just from your birthdate.

Utter bollocks of course and the output often seemed almost random. I wonder how the calculated it in a few lines of code.


Have you ever seen those "Love Calculators" they advertise on crappy cable music channels? £2 a text and we'll give you a numerical value on how much you love your boyfriend!! Not based purely on some mashup of the ascii values of your names, honest!


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 18:12 
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Chinny chin chin

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 15695
Squirt wrote:
Have you ever seen those "Love Calculators" they advertise on crappy cable music channels? £2 a text and we'll give you a numerical value on how much you love your boyfriend!! Not based purely on some mashup of the ascii values of your names, honest!


£2? Why that could buy you someones love for a whole month.

[runs]


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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 19:49 
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Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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chinnyhill10 wrote:
£2? Why that could buy you someones begrudging holding of their tongue for a whole month.

[runs]


FTFY

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 19:49 
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Sleepyhead

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Mr Chris wrote:
I meant the risk management job...


Ah yes, that makes a lot more sense, really...

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 Post subject: Re: I've got a job!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 20:12 
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Squirt wrote:
Have you ever seen those "Love Calculators" they advertise on crappy cable music channels? £2 a text and we'll give you a numerical value on how much you love your boyfriend!! Not based purely on some mashup of the ascii values of your names, honest!

Best one I've seen is "Kama Sutra" on TMF. Where, for the princely sum of £1, you text in the name of your partner and your name alongside it, and it calculates which position in the Kama Sutra best suits your relationship.

Why the hell would you spend money on something like that? There's a never-ending stream of idiots doing it (unless the ones on the TV are made up ones to try and get people to text in) and I just can't imagine spending money on something like that.


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