Be Excellent To Each Other

Not now, she's not. Jumping on the Nigella Lawson 'who can be arsed with this cooking nonsense' bandwagon, her last series was made mostly of things like: 'Now I'm going to teach you how to make a tasty fragrant tomato soup. All you need for this is a can of Heinz soup. Open the tin and microwave it'. No-one will ever know. Sprinkle a bit of basil on the top and you are a culinary guru. I half expected to see her twiddling her nipple in front of the camera before gorging on a whole suckling pig by the light of the open fridge door whilst wearing a silk nightie at 2am.

Not a fan, then Mimi?

Woah! Detailed imagery.

Goes to think about 6 other things successively.

Nigella remains one of the most stunningly attractive women alive, despite her age.

Attractive she may be. Doesn't stop me wanting to beat her face in with a copper-bottomed pan every time she says anything.

I wish I could explain how great my craving is for toad in the hole now. Damn your eyes, Gnomes.

Granted.

Any woman named after her *father* has to be abit wierd.

Even more wierd than DLT calling his youngest song "DLT Junior".

Your change of avatar upsets me chinny, I feel like I don't even KNOW you anymore.

In fact, if the pub we're going to for lunch doesn't have toad in the hole on the menu -- and I'm pretty sure it does not -- I suspect that GNOMES STYLE MUDEROUS RAGE may result. I won't be able to make it tonight as we're (probably) going to see Batman.

Of who? Delia or Nigella?

Nigella is a crap cook, but her show is funny. I like the fake friends she has around to dinner every day, and how one of her 'friiends' phones her up in one programme in the series having just broken up with her boyfriend. Fortuitous because Nigella has just been shopping for the ingredients for a 'break up' chocolate cake. Just what every woman needs when having just gone through the emotional hell of breaking up with her boyfriend - to be encouraged to get fat.

Delia just doesn't know where she is with her shows. She used to have a no nonsense good cookery show, then she went in one direction with 'how to cook an egg', 'how to boil water', and 'how to butter bread', and then went off on another tangent which seemed to be 'Buy a ready made meal and microwave it.

At one point she actually bought a Waitrose ready meal and cooked it in the oven. I think her shows are an abomination now.

Try to be strong, Richard

Is this like when Charlotte Church was a crap pop singer?

She is a crap pop singer.

She is a good singer, but she is crap at singing pop tunes.

Nigella is a crap cook if she's actually trying to promote herself AS a cook. She can cook no better than the average person. I honestly don't think she can cook any better than me, at all.

Do I hear the sound of a gauntlet being thrown down?

But Charlotte Church... have you not seen THAT PICTURE that she used to woo Gavin Henson?

I reckon she and Lily Allen should... y'know... collaborate.

I reckon they should definitely practise their duetting amidst the Welsh valleys. I for one would love to see them intently yodelling in the canyon together.

I had toad in the hole for lunch! And it was everything I dreamt it could be, except that they didn't put enough gravy on it.

Christ, I'm so relieved for you

I haven't.

Me neither. It sounds intriguing.

I'd rather put out my eyes than watch a cookery programme. I can't think of anything more boring. When you're on your death beds, you'll be counting up all the half hours you wasted watching people whisking things in bowls.

No, I'll be performing oral se... well anyway, I'll be doing something fun.

Performing?! I'll be too weak. More likely receiving from my elderly wife.

See, I find receiving far more exhausting, if she knows what she's doing and is really into it. In a good way, obviously, but still.

I wonder if everyone else will also refrain from a crude "how cheap you can eat" gag.

I know this thread is How Cheap Can I Eat? but this really isn't what I had in mind.

YOUR EDIT WAS FAR TOO LATE.

Curses. I was in the middle of posting something along those lines till I saw the 'At least one new post...'

I am in fact very hungry right now.

You can get a packet of scampi fries quite cheap in any pub though.

I'm confused. Are we still innuendoing, or not?

Quite cleary. And tastelessly, I might add.

Well, sometimes. It depends.

I can't help but feel that I've sent this thread hurtling off on a tangent. I bet Grim... wishes he's never fixed that login problem now.

Tacky, but resourceful. Like a Green Beret in fishnets. 8/10.

Fun info: I'm (more than likely) doing a recording for Radio 4 tomorrow about my blog. I shall be walking around my local Sainsburys with a reporter lady who will record me while I talk about how to eat thriftily.

No idea how they stumbled upon this, although last night I checked I was high up there on the 'cheap eating' searches.

Are you sure they didn't stumble upon the ANGRY MAN one instead, and are going to ambush you with questions as to why you didn't beat the living shit out of that driver?

Also - hooray! Well done.

In any given internet community, about 20% of them work for the BBC. So that's probably what happened.

Bonus points if you this happens.

"How do you eat thriftily"

"Theft" *steal baby from nearby trolley.*

We have Chinny. But who else buffers up to 20% ?

Comical riding the credit crunch zeitgeist, there. You should start a website where you make tiny, cheaper versions of popular snacks to help us through this penny-pinching era.

937 miniature bananas.

Remember to tell them that I gave you so many handy tips for how to combine basic ingredients

Seriously, though - good luck and well done. Cor, Goldfinger Comical is at it again P

None of this tenuous fame is resulting in buckets of cash, however. In fact, if you could lend me a fiver that'd be awesome

I saw this pic on holiday and thought of you all.



Mostly because it contained the word Nom. LE OM NOM NOM.

It looks like two fingers of a twix in a bread roll?

Actually, it's a little bread man who's fallen down onto his back.

If I paid the license fee, I'd no doubt be dismayed that it was being squandered in this way.