Be Excellent To Each Other

Indeed

I've just downloaded nVidia drivers for the first time in ages; why in the shitting hell are they 440 fucking MB?

You're updating your drivers wrong.

Well I'm certainly posting in the wrong thread, that's for sure.

I thought maybe a vodka drivers were some kind of propulsion system for your sleigh.

Yeah, vodka drivers. That’ll do.

What’s happened to autocorrect to recently? It keeps force capitalising random words, too. Not as soon as I’ve typed them, but three or four words on. I assume it’s contextual, but it’s annoying as I forget to read through what I’ve typed. Not now... because I’m writing about it and therefore thinking about it.

If the phrases "updating drivers" and "first time in ages" are in the same sentence, you're doing it wrong.

Yeah, I know, it's just something I never remember to do very often. It's the sort of thing it would be nice if they'd integrate into Windows Update so it was all just handled.

Oops.

That's a fir size

Brains Brewery have a Christmas beer called 'Fir King Good Ale'. Went to order one at the Turf on Friday and, inevitably, the barlady didn't quite hear me, looked a bit stunned, and asked me to repeat what I'd said.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Hahaha Christ

Excellent stuff.

Looking forward to reading it at the dentist's next summer.

God, that's depressing.

So is my bedroom. Currently looks like an Amazon distribution centre. I normally make an effort to get at least half my presents from independent retailers but that went truly out of the window this year.

We sort of already had christmas on 25 November before leaving. For actual christmas we're breaking a habit of a lifetime and eating out. As we're in Singapore we're eating at Jamie's Kitchen

Did anyone here break up for Christmas today? If so, HAPPY HOLIDAY TIME!!

I broke up ages ago... Technically.

Anyway, we're having Christmas at home. We've invited both sets of parents for dinner but my dad is too ill to make it so it'll just be the in laws coming round.

I can't wait for the awkwardness. My wife has just got off the phone to her mom who reckons is being 'betrayed' because we're going to visit my wife's Grandad next week. There's a silly family argument over absolutely nothing but the only one who seems to be arguing is my mother in law. So yeah good times!

I assume all in-laws are completely bonkers, but then I see someone on the internet posting that their in-laws are the best and nicest people in the world, so I assume those people posting are the ones who have the weirdo parents.

Does that mean I win because I broke up at the end of June?

This is me! MERRY FECKING CHRISTMAS!

Huzzah!! Russell is in until next Friday, but it seems close now. I’ll be happy for the break and company and time to relax and have fun.

Joan's is doing practice runs. This is 'boxing day'.

We have Sam coming over this week, then Christmas starts with a trip to the cinema to see Jumanji and Star Wars. He will stay until boxing day When Darryl comes over with Chloe and we have Christmas #2 followed two days later by her birthday, then back home the next day on her real birthday. Then four days of just me and Joan's which will involve packing and playing Lego games.

One week to go !

(No pressure)

I finish this Wednesday. Work will be a doss as it's our Bad Santa and buffet during the 2 hour lunch then we'll all get to leave earlier to get ready for our Christmas do.

Is that the Secret Santa variant where you either open a new present or steal someone else's?

Or is it someone in a Father Christmas suit trying to be hip?

I finish on Wednesday too. Can't wait.

Yep. It's the highlight of the work year. The "ladies" bitchiness really comes out

I have lovely, lovely in-laws. Gaz's family are all so nice and normal.

I make up for this by having an extra fucked up family.

But then Gaz. Odd how that happens.

I think it’s extra special to have supportive and loving in-laws. Russell’s grandparents welcomed me into the family with open arms. Russell’s Grandad and I have a daily chat conversation. It’s magic. It’s great to know you have that support network, Jem x

We’re hosting my family for three days. It wasn’t even my idea. Joking aside, my family are pretty easy to host as they all muck in. However, having just been to North London’s favourite food retailer (tm), it has to be said it’s bloody expensive. We haven’t bought the perishables yet, such as most veg, the bird, creams for puddings and a lot of the booze, yet we still managed to crest >£800

Everyone to DBSnappa's for a right royal booze-up!

You wha?! What have you spent it on?

Jesus fuck, are you feeding the 5000?

Hibernation.

So... huh? That’s on what, then? Just gifts and some food/drink? My mind is blown. We hosted all my family last year, and totting everything up I’m pretty sure all the food came in easily under £40

You know... I bet your Christmas dinner is a bit better than mine.

It's probably just his Mum who will only drink vintage cognac and that's 750 quid a bottle straight out.

He's having a white Christmas.

We aren’t having any kind of team Christmas party at work. We’re a team of 22 engineers and a couple of team leaders, but as we all work from home and cover different geographical areas, there’s no chance of us getting together for any kind of event. You have no idea how relieved I am about that.

I for one, do. Good work.

I stand corrected.

I love Christmas parties. (Well, parties. Socialising, really.) One of the suckiest parts of being a freelancer is not having people to have a Christmas do with. I was really pleased Gaz's boss invited me to theirs the past two years (I do occasional work for them, it wasn't just out of pity )

Our christmas party unfortunately featured this guy...



He was shit.

A friend of mine is a freelance journalist and he too really laments that lack of social contact, especially around Christmas party season. He did try and organize a freelancers get together in London but that fell on its arse. You don't really have the tissue of shared work experience to make the company of strangers less weird.

Have mine this afternoon, I organised it all and will expense it, but I always let my team choose what time they slope off to the pub (within reason)

So this year its 3 pm, I'm strategically getting a taxi from my house at 3.30 which will get me to the pub at 4 pm

Find it always wise to miss the first hour where everyone bangs 4 pints down them

Like you love a good night out, we invite people who have left the dept as well, just can't cope with lots of booze anymore, partly age, also 2 small unforgiving kids!

I’m rubbish at socialising. I don’t like drinking, which is fine, but I’m also really nervous around drunk people, and the louder everyone else gets the quieter I get in response.

I’m happiest sitting sideways on the sofa with my feet up on Russell doing crosswords in the evening, watching University Challenge and Only Connect.

I'm exactly the same, except I don't have my feet up on Russell. Much.

Also, I think my hearing is a bit wonky in my old age, which means that I'm finding conversations harder to follow when there's loud music or background noise, which means I tend to not bother even trying after a while.

Have a drink, thank them,and leave. They don't want The Boss hanging around!

I am just as happy to socialise sober. Some of my best nights out I've voluntarily been the designated driver

With the company I'm at, there are just three of us and one is out of the area at the mo, so my boss has toyed with the idea of the two of usmeeting for lunch for Christmas, but considering all he does it talk shop anyway, we can just do that from home over Skype anyway. At least away from Skype, I won't have to hear him telling off his girlfriend and kids for interrupting his calls



I'm much the same, although I'm even quieter these days as I go out so rarely.



I'd quite like to see more stuff like this on dating profiles (minus Russell). As I browse POF and the like, it's full of gym-obsessed, travel-loving dog owners.