Be Excellent To Each Other

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 21:20 
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Gogmagog

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Bad sex scenes in books shortlist

There are some corkers!

Quote:
“He tips her back and lays her on the dissecting table. She takes off her skirt, spreads her legs and tells him: ‘Fuck me like a machine.’ And while her breasts spill out, Simon begins to flow into her assemblage.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 21:22 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Location: Cheshire
Squirt wrote:
Leeds Armoury is awesome. I know some people who have been to handling sessions there - getting to hold and wave about genuine bits of antique kit - and they had a cracking time. Also, there is a suit of armour for an elephant.


My friends saw "The science of Zombie Killing" where the armourer went to town on gel heads using katanas (waste of time), axes (pretty pro) and halters (fuck! Yeah!) And said it was great.

I have never been :(

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 21:40 
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Popped into see Monsieur Aris today in between Amazon shifts for a cuppa. Got to see ALL THE PICKSULZ of his new 4k Xbox and even shoot his gun. He also gave me a muffin. No dog though. :(

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 22:11 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
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Lonewolves wrote:
Popped into see Monsieur Aris today in between Amazon shifts for a cuppa. Got to see ALL THE PICKSULZ of his new 4k Xbox and even shoot his gun. He also gave me a muffin. No dog though. :(


I’ll definitely take you airsoft if you’re actually interested. It’s kinda stupid painful fun.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 22:30 
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Definitely!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 11:13 
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I'd tag along to that, espesh if it's an urban site. And if it's not too cold. I've still got a few pew-pews lying around.

Jem'd probably be up for it too.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 11:16 
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sneering elitist

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Beex airsoft adventure sounds awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 14:07 
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Ian never stops pooing

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 15:26 
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Well, that just makes him more of a target then, surely?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 15:55 
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In a twist of bitter irony I am, in fact, now the one pooing.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 16:45 
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That's not irony.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 17:07 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
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Two spoons one myp.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 17:50 
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GazChap wrote:
That's not irony.

Language evolves. It's what people consider irony even if it, in fact, is not.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 17:51 
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Gogmagog

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Lonewolves wrote:
GazChap wrote:
That's not irony.

Language evolves. It's what people consider irony even if it, in fact, is not.


Those people are dragging civilisation down into idiocy and should be out into moon rockets and shot into the sun.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 17:53 
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Put into moon rockets, my dear fellow.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 18:31 
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Lonewolves wrote:
Put into moon rockets, my dear fellow.


Language evolves.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:10 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
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Hope non of you guys are near Oxford Circus tube station


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:11 
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Sounds like it was just a panic, thankfully.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:13 
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Unpossible!

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Good. Still, panicky crowds aren't nice places to be


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:19 
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sneering elitist

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Not helped by Olly Murs ridiculous tweets.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:37 
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Sitting balls-back folder

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DavPaz wrote:
crowds aren't nice places to be


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 21:30 
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Curiosity wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
Put into moon rockets, my dear fellow.


Language evolves.

Or devolves, whenever you speak.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 23:07 
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Hibernating Druid

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Railings are irony.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:12 
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"Praisebot"

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It's Saturday morning and as usual I'm sat in the waiting room while my girls are dancing. There's a woman in here who hasn't stopped talking and the guy she's talking to has the patience of a saint. He's responded with "yeah.." and nothing else for 40 minutes now. She's really annoying!

There's also another woman who clearly doesn't like her daughter. She's done nothing but look on her phone and shouted at her since she's got here.

The girls are enjoying it though. They're dancing to Moana which amuses me as it's sung by the same guy who threatened to turn things sideways and stick them up his enemies candy asses in the early 2000's.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:31 
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Gogmagog

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I need to start getting Punt and Dennis to something like that. Really need some structure to the weekends.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:40 
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"Praisebot"

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It might be a bit of a way to travel for you but I'd welcome the company in the waiting room.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 19:44 
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Yes

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We have taken to swimming as a regular Sunday fixture. Two hours in the local brine pool followed by a drive to a National Trust place with 30-60 minutes (nap occurs here).

Couple of hours split between buggy and a walk and then we’re good to drive home for a short relax, tea and bed.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 19:44 
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Fuck knows what Darwin does while Mimi and I are out mind.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 22:29 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Block party

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:00 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
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I am on a course. 8am online course on a Monday.

Grr why can't folks work out how to mute their fucking lines.... going to be a long day

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:30 
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Currently testing a new system for children's care and as such have been creating many dummy records. Had some trouble setting up a carer (Mother Hubbard, of 'A Shoe', Cornmarket, Oxford). Email exchange:

IT support: Which child are you trying to place with Mother Hubbard?
Me: Genghis Khan.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:32 
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Est. 1978

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That shoe's gonna be a bloodbath.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:34 
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I'm not entirely sure she'll pass the next inspection anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:41 
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Comfortably Dumb

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Kern wrote:
Currently testing a new system for children's care and as such have been creating many dummy records. Had some trouble setting up a carer (Mother Hubbard, of 'A Shoe', Cornmarket, Oxford). Email exchange:

IT support: Which child are you trying to place with Mother Hubbard?
Me: Genghis Khan.


I was creating dummy records for a system last week and had to stop myself from using my usual 'John Smith' as a contact, as the brewery we're building the system for might think we're taking the piss. Although Genghis might have made a mean landlord too.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:54 
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Your periodic reminder that, before you put comedy values into test systems, you should think hard about what happens if those values leak into prod.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:56 
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Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
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Like our test student account, a certain Mr. D Vader?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:00 
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circa 15 years ago...

"Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?"
"Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!"

Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing...

...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error"


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:04 
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While testing email filtering rules, I made a redirect loop, and crashed Cardiff's COMSC email server with millions of emails with a subject line of something like "why doesn't my fucking procmail work".


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:09 
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Comfortably Dumb

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GazChap wrote:
circa 15 years ago...

"Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?"
"Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!"

Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing...

...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error"


'banana' was always my go-to word when I wanted to test something would display on-screen. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:14 
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Decapodian

Joined: 15th Oct, 2010
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Your periodic reminder that, before you put comedy values into test systems, you should think hard about what happens if those values leak into prod.


Or comments in an install script about teabagging someone’s mum that get left on the desktop of a customers server.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:33 
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devilman wrote:
GazChap wrote:
circa 15 years ago...

"Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?"
"Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!"

Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing...

...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error"


'banana' was always my go-to word when I wanted to test something would display on-screen. :)

I just use "asd" now.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:34 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
While testing email filtering rules, I made a redirect loop, and crashed Cardiff's COMSC email server with millions of emails with a subject line of something like "why doesn't my fucking procmail work".

Did you get a million replies back with "it fucking does" :P


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 14:57 
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I did something just last week, it was a kind of workflow thing for new starters, it was a bloody nightmare as it works its way around about six different departments depending on all sorts of crap. Anyway it sent out about a dozen notifications to payroll with the subject line something like "payroll action needed - name - blah blah blah" and then just "blah blah whatever" and a link in the body of the email. Fortunately I know them all pretty well.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 15:47 
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I once created a calendar system for logging when charity events are occurring in our stores, and what's been done and how much has been raised.

They, unbeknownst to me created a little flash video of how to use the system based off the test data instead of the live data, and so the whole company still sees the sample events "Duck Hunt", "Duck BBQ", and "Duck Feast".

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 17:40 
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Rude Belittler

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I hope your usual charity isn't the RSPCA.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 17:42 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

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The BASC totally loved it though.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:21 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
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I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:28 
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UltraMod

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krazywookie wrote:
I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds.

Same, so I downloaded an app that transcribes them for me. PF Voicemail+ if you're on Android.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:42 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

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Lonewolves wrote:
krazywookie wrote:
I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds.

Same, so I downloaded an app that transcribes them for me. PF Voicemail+ if you're on Android.

You sir, are a God damn angel. Thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 19:14 
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UltraMod

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Only took two and a bit months for this video to get made, but here's us winning the Nottingham Single Sex Tournament. 27.55 if you want to see me rip a double in the final. ;)


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