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Life in the UK Test
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Author:  Cras [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
So what questions should we have instead?

Would you like to live in this country?
Yes / No

Repeat in every written language that people use, and have an interpreter stood there in case they can't read.


The reason I said there should be a test is because it provides a way to give people learning materials and a reason to learn the things they actually need to know. Like what their rights are if questioned by police, or how tax and benefits work.
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.
Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Make her a nice cup of tea, take her for some fish and chips or a Sunday dinner, and buy her a top with the shoulders mysteriously cut out of it.
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Really? Which Britain do you live in?
Author:  Bamba [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from BritishEnglish values as I can imagine.

Really? Which BritainEngland do you live in?


Feex for accuracy.
Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Really? Which Britain do you live in?

These are things which seem specifically Englishly jingoistic.
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
I can't find anywhere selling unicorn meat and lions are so expensive these days.
Author:  MaliA [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Kern wrote:
I can't find anywhere selling unicorn meat and lions are so expensive these days.


Like pigs, lions are pretty huge.
Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Yeah, fuck The Sun, football hooligans etc.

Take them for a cream tea, out in the rain without an umbrella, and somewhere with a really long queue.
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Christ, you people are judgemental.
Author:  nickachu [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
I got 15. They won't let me back in at this rate.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Make her a nice cup of tea, take her for some fish and chips or a Sunday dinner, and buy her a top with the shoulders mysteriously cut out of it.


It's raining. Do you:

(a) Stoically conduct a BBQ in heavy showers (preferably holding an umbrella over the grill for an entire cooking period), Pimms very optimistically in hand, with rainwater trickling down one's neck.

(b) Quite sensibly call off the BBQ.

If it's (b), bugger off. :D
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves. It's actually pretty sad because (IMO) this is a great country, and people *should* take pride. Bloody negativity and abject pessimism wherever you look.
Author:  MaliA [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.


It's entirely possible Kern wasn't being serious and was stretching a point for comic effect.
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.

I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
MaliA wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.


It's entirely possible Kern wasn't being serious and was stretching a point for comic effect.


Oh I'm sure, but a great many people *do* think like that, and we see an awful lot of self-deprecating negativity pretty much everywhere among the metropolitan, post-Brexit chattering classes. It's irritating, frankly.
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.

That's possibly because we're not living in France, Italy or Germany.

Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?

Wait. Wait wait wait...
Author:  MaliA [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
The west germans look down on the east germans.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.

I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.


Who said it made them bad people?
A lot of people like mars bars or chewing gum, but you wouldn't necessarily laud these as examples of Britishness or whatevs.
Author:  nickachu [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?

Wait. Wait wait wait...


I'm in Sweden?
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.
Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.
Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
And I said the combination of those things that kern had listed for comic effect were jingoistic in combination when applied to the specific image of British Values*.

A little bit like a Frenchman wearing a beret, a stripy jumper and a string of onions round his neck would be needlessly offensive, but nobody would say that people who like onions are bad.

*And I actually said they were far from British, partially because they represent mostly English rather than British in that combination.
Author:  DavPaz [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Fuck The Sun in particular.
Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.

And I definitely didn't say that someone liking these things made them bad people. I assume you have skim-read a tad.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.


:this:

Dare we not scoff at the notion that 'Britishness' is better than tabloids, football or chavvy pubs? Bollocks to that, sorry. If this makes me a snob, so be it.
Author:  Satsuma [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
18 out of 24 questions and you're in? It should be essay questions.
Author:  DavPaz [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
I'm just about to have my lunch, should I make it popcorn and stay in this thread?
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
DavPaz wrote:
I'm just about to have my lunch, should I make it popcorn and stay in this thread?


I shouldn't bother, I'm busy. :)
Author:  myp [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.


:this:

Dare we not scoff at the notion that 'Britishness' is better than tabloids, football or chavvy pubs? Bollocks to that, sorry. If this makes me a snob, so be it.

Curio isn't being a snob. The Sun is just awful for lots of reasons - not because poor people read it. Same with football. Football is good and the majority of fans are fine - hooligans are not because violence
Author:  Squirt [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.
Author:  Squirt [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Quote:
The band called Beatles was popular and some alteration to social laws occured during which period?
* 1980s
* 1960s
* 1970s
* 1950s


That's an appallingly written question.
Author:  DavPaz [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Squirt wrote:
I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.

And the lamb burgers got smaller.

RUINED
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
The UK has its fair share of faults and wrongs (eg the legacy of slavery and colonialism; still large divisions between rich and poor; pacers), but we've got a lot going for us. I witnessed an excellent example of British values and what we have got right in this country when I was in Brighton on Saturday. In no other country would you see a couple of drag queens laughing and joking with a pair of armed policemen.
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Squirt wrote:
I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.


Wetherspoons breakfasts are one of the best hangover cures yet devised.
Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.


Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.


Mr Russell wrote:
That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Mr Russell wrote:
These are things which seem specifically Englishly jingoistic.


No backpedalling here.
Author:  BikNorton [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.
That's the one after queueing.
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
In 'The Mikado', one of the entries on the little list is:

Quote:
The idiot who praises
In enthusiastic tones
Every century but this,
And every country but his own
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.


Who's pulled your chain?
I'm not back pedalling in the least. To be completely clear: I personally cannot stand the tabloid press, your average football supporting mob and/or Wetherspoons pubs in specific regard to what someone may consider 'Britishness'. You disagree and/or think I'm being a snob and/or think I should feel bad about this? Could not give a damn, sorry. That's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.

That clear enough for you? Good-o.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
BikNorton wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.
That's the one after queueing.


:D
Author:  MrChris [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.
Author:  Cavey [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.
Author:  markg [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
I honestly couldn't give a fuck about "British values". If we're having to screen people coming into the country then if we could just check that they aren't a selfish fucking prick who has no regard for others then that would do for me.
Author:  Bobbyaro [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
But Mark, we want rich people.
Author:  markg [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Cavey wrote:
MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.

Sometimes perhaps but mostly it's completely arbitrary and just leads people to place value on things that are actually every bit as shit and pathetic as the things they're being snobbish about.
Author:  MrChris [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
markg wrote:
Cavey wrote:
MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.

Sometimes perhaps but mostly it's completely arbitrary and just leads people to place value on things that are actually every bit as shit and pathetic as the things they're being snobbish about.

But that's something I'm very happy to be snobby about as well. Snobbery snobbery if you will.
Author:  Kern [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Squirt wrote:
Quote:
The band called Beatles was popular and some alteration to social laws occured during which period?
* 1980s
* 1960s
* 1970s
* 1950s


That's an appallingly written question.


They're just taking the piss with this one:
Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: Life in the UK Test
Just to make it clear, I am totally a snob, but also love Wetherspoons and football.
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