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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:28 
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Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
So what questions should we have instead?

Would you like to live in this country?
Yes / No

Repeat in every written language that people use, and have an interpreter stood there in case they can't read.


The reason I said there should be a test is because it provides a way to give people learning materials and a reason to learn the things they actually need to know. Like what their rights are if questioned by police, or how tax and benefits work.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:32 
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A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:35 
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Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Make her a nice cup of tea, take her for some fish and chips or a Sunday dinner, and buy her a top with the shoulders mysteriously cut out of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:46 
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Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Really? Which Britain do you live in?

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:49 
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Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from BritishEnglish values as I can imagine.

Really? Which BritainEngland do you live in?


Feex for accuracy.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:52 
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Grim... wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Really? Which Britain do you live in?

These are things which seem specifically Englishly jingoistic.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:54 
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I can't find anywhere selling unicorn meat and lions are so expensive these days.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:56 
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Kern wrote:
I can't find anywhere selling unicorn meat and lions are so expensive these days.


Like pigs, lions are pretty huge.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:57 
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Yeah, fuck The Sun, football hooligans etc.

Take them for a cream tea, out in the rain without an umbrella, and somewhere with a really long queue.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:00 
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Christ, you people are judgemental.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:00 
I got 15. They won't let me back in at this rate.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:02 
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Mr Russell wrote:
Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.

That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Make her a nice cup of tea, take her for some fish and chips or a Sunday dinner, and buy her a top with the shoulders mysteriously cut out of it.


It's raining. Do you:

(a) Stoically conduct a BBQ in heavy showers (preferably holding an umbrella over the grill for an entire cooking period), Pimms very optimistically in hand, with rainwater trickling down one's neck.

(b) Quite sensibly call off the BBQ.

If it's (b), bugger off. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:05 
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But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves. It's actually pretty sad because (IMO) this is a great country, and people *should* take pride. Bloody negativity and abject pessimism wherever you look.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:07 
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Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.


It's entirely possible Kern wasn't being serious and was stretching a point for comic effect.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:11 
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Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.

I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:11 
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MaliA wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.


It's entirely possible Kern wasn't being serious and was stretching a point for comic effect.


Oh I'm sure, but a great many people *do* think like that, and we see an awful lot of self-deprecating negativity pretty much everywhere among the metropolitan, post-Brexit chattering classes. It's irritating, frankly.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:12 
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Cavey wrote:
I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.

That's possibly because we're not living in France, Italy or Germany.

Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:12 
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Grim... wrote:
Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?

Wait. Wait wait wait...

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:15 
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The west germans look down on the east germans.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:16 
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Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.

I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.


Who said it made them bad people?
A lot of people like mars bars or chewing gum, but you wouldn't necessarily laud these as examples of Britishness or whatevs.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:18 
Grim... wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Yo, Nickachu! What's the deal in Sweden?

Wait. Wait wait wait...


I'm in Sweden?


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:19 
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Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:25 
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Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:30 
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And I said the combination of those things that kern had listed for comic effect were jingoistic in combination when applied to the specific image of British Values*.

A little bit like a Frenchman wearing a beret, a stripy jumper and a string of onions round his neck would be needlessly offensive, but nobody would say that people who like onions are bad.

*And I actually said they were far from British, partially because they represent mostly English rather than British in that combination.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:30 
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Fuck The Sun in particular.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:32 
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Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.

And I definitely didn't say that someone liking these things made them bad people. I assume you have skim-read a tad.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:35 
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Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.


:this:

Dare we not scoff at the notion that 'Britishness' is better than tabloids, football or chavvy pubs? Bollocks to that, sorry. If this makes me a snob, so be it.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:36 
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18 out of 24 questions and you're in? It should be essay questions.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:42 
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I'm just about to have my lunch, should I make it popcorn and stay in this thread?


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:43 
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DavPaz wrote:
I'm just about to have my lunch, should I make it popcorn and stay in this thread?


I shouldn't bother, I'm busy. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:43 
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Cavey wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
But to be serious, do people actually think 'Britishness' is defined by leering tabloid gutter press headlines, football and fucking Wetherspoons? We're better than that.

Some people like football and Wetherspoons. It doesn't make them bad people.
I'm struggling a bit more with newspapers, but I'm sure there are some good reasons for reading them.

Who said it made them bad people?

Russ, Curio, you. That's kind of the impression that's given out when you add words like "leering gutter" and "fucking" to a list of things some people enjoy.


I said fuck The Sun and football hooligans. I stand by this and will die on this hill.


:this:

Dare we not scoff at the notion that 'Britishness' is better than tabloids, football or chavvy pubs? Bollocks to that, sorry. If this makes me a snob, so be it.

Curio isn't being a snob. The Sun is just awful for lots of reasons - not because poor people read it. Same with football. Football is good and the majority of fans are fine - hooligans are not because violence

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:46 
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I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:46 
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Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:48 
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Quote:
The band called Beatles was popular and some alteration to social laws occured during which period?
* 1980s
* 1960s
* 1970s
* 1950s


That's an appallingly written question.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:48 
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Squirt wrote:
I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.

And the lamb burgers got smaller.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:49 
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The UK has its fair share of faults and wrongs (eg the legacy of slavery and colonialism; still large divisions between rich and poor; pacers), but we've got a lot going for us. I witnessed an excellent example of British values and what we have got right in this country when I was in Brighton on Saturday. In no other country would you see a couple of drag queens laughing and joking with a pair of armed policemen.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:50 
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Squirt wrote:
I'm very much in two minds about our local 'spoons. Cheap beer, HUGE range and cheap ( but pretty ordinary food ). However, they do seem to be constantly, chronically understaffed, which is partly why they can be so cheap, I guess.


Wetherspoons breakfasts are one of the best hangover cures yet devised.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:51 
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Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.


Kern wrote:
A Polish friend is currently going through the citizenship process. I've promised her that when it's finished and she takes the oath, I'll give her a copy of that day's 'Sun', a cheap football shirt, and a St George's Flag, then take her to the dodgy fake-Wetherspoons on New Road.


Mr Russell wrote:
That is about as far from British values as I can imagine.

Mr Russell wrote:
These are things which seem specifically Englishly jingoistic.


No backpedalling here.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:53 
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Cavey wrote:
Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.
That's the one after queueing.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:59 
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In 'The Mikado', one of the entries on the little list is:

Quote:
The idiot who praises
In enthusiastic tones
Every century but this,
And every country but his own


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:00 
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Grim... wrote:
Cavey wrote:
chavvy pubs

It would appear you can't help yourself.

The rest of you know exactly what you were saying, but if you want to backpedal and pretend it was something else, so be it.


Who's pulled your chain?
I'm not back pedalling in the least. To be completely clear: I personally cannot stand the tabloid press, your average football supporting mob and/or Wetherspoons pubs in specific regard to what someone may consider 'Britishness'. You disagree and/or think I'm being a snob and/or think I should feel bad about this? Could not give a damn, sorry. That's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.

That clear enough for you? Good-o.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:01 
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BikNorton wrote:
Cavey wrote:
Perhaps this lack of pride is part of our problem as a nation; I don't see the French, Italians or Germans having such a downer about themselves.
That's the one after queueing.


:D

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:10 
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There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:11 
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MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:12 
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I honestly couldn't give a fuck about "British values". If we're having to screen people coming into the country then if we could just check that they aren't a selfish fucking prick who has no regard for others then that would do for me.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:16 
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But Mark, we want rich people.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:16 
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Cavey wrote:
MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.

Sometimes perhaps but mostly it's completely arbitrary and just leads people to place value on things that are actually every bit as shit and pathetic as the things they're being snobbish about.


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:24 
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INFINITE POWAH

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
Posts: 30498
markg wrote:
Cavey wrote:
MrChris wrote:
There's also not actually anything wrong with being a snob, per se. Some things are just objectively rubbish and not to be encouraged.

Like football.


:this: Could not agree more, mate, it's one of the key drivers to make us better and to strive for better, as individuals and as a collective.

Sometimes perhaps but mostly it's completely arbitrary and just leads people to place value on things that are actually every bit as shit and pathetic as the things they're being snobbish about.

But that's something I'm very happy to be snobby about as well. Snobbery snobbery if you will.

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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:26 
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Joined: 12th Apr, 2008
Posts: 17757
Location: Oxford
Squirt wrote:
Quote:
The band called Beatles was popular and some alteration to social laws occured during which period?
* 1980s
* 1960s
* 1970s
* 1950s


That's an appallingly written question.


They're just taking the piss with this one:


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 Post subject: Re: Life in the UK Test
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 13:27 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27343
Location: Kidbrooke
Just to make it clear, I am totally a snob, but also love Wetherspoons and football.

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