Be Excellent To Each Other

I think that's it. If you read it aloud (in your head, so to speak... do you 'hear' your voice when you read?) you can understand a lot of it. I remember doing a lot of work on The Great Vowel Shift for A-Level.

Ahh, thats a chunk more academic than anything I'm looking at! I just like the idea of talking about mead and spears and swear at people in the language of my distant ancestors!

Fucking hell the exit polls....

May will be in a ditch with a knife in her back by morning.

Exit polls say a tory win but not a majority

And so ends another night on the lash through the wheat fields.

Corbyn will be kicking himself he said no coalitions. Tory minority government and another election within months. Fucking fucking hell...brexit is going to be fecked.

Hilariously, that marketing company "poll" today was the most accurate.

Loving Osborne and Balls on ITV. Better than the "you don't have to be Dimbleby to work here but it helps" BBC.

And thanks to bobby it's likely even worse.

And it looks like the DUP will finally matter.

I still think the Tories might sneak it.

Could be a long night.

Stop raising my hopes, exit polls. We've danced this jig before

No, the exit polls were broadly right last time. It was the polls beforehand that were all shite. Possibly.

Tory leaders self-owning themselves two years running is pretty hilarious though.

Even if they win a slim majority it's no different to 2015 and will be deemed a fucking waste of time.

Given the effects of it, no, not very hilarious.

Very hilarious.

What, Cameron's self owning leading to brexit is hilarious? Brexit is hilarious?

Its certainly a very good example of hubris, yes, but hilarious?

Speaking of hilarious, Mali is giving a good turn on ITV's coverage.

Ooooooooooooooooooooh shit.
I'm sensing a 5-egg omelette on face moment

Had a board game evening in the pub tonight. Saw the exit poll - jaw dropped further than in 2015. Oh Britain, you never cease to fascinate me. So many DPhils to be written about this decade.

Go away Neil Hamilton. 1997 called: return to your time period.

I met Neil Hamilton once. I was with my parents and my mom wanted a picture with him... He said to her "Come here, I like them like you". My dad responded "What's that? Old?"

Have a nagging feeling that the Tories will sneak past the line.

I think most of us would have at least 3 eggs if this sticks.

If Oxford West & Abingdon returns to the Lib Dems I'll be very happy.

In other exciting election news, I've just had to do a full channel rescan as C4, CNN, and ITV HD strangely disappeared from my Freesat box. Not that I'm going to watch anything other than BBC1, but it's the principle of the thing.

I've been interviewed four times by weird European news outlets. This is an odd evening

Ace. You've said different things to each network, right?

I'm guessing you're not in your lounge

I'd planned to be in bed by now...

They got my vote but there a lot of election paperwork through for the torys and they were the only ones to actually knock on doors around here.

Still laughing. No matter what happens, May is toast. She's run the laziest, most cynical campaign ever and is reaping the rewards.

I think the Lib Dems were placing their bets on the Oxford West part of the constituency. Things are very different in Abingdon.

Did Ken Clark just call the North East the "rust belt"?

Prat.

If she becomes the new Douglas-Hume of Tory leaders I'll be very happy. Still, she hasn't screwed up as much as Eden. Other than that Brexit thing. Oh.

Heck, she could become even more hated than Heath, whose main achievement she's undoing. We might be entering her into the Bonar Law leagues of crap Tory PMs.

It seems the UKIP vote is returning back to its Tory and Labour homelands. So perhaps we should be comparing against 2010 or 2005 to get a truer picture.

Hoping to see Craster I just flipped over to France24 and have just fallen in love with their in-studio expert.

The only one with video was Swedish

I should be in bed but instead, I'm contemplating a can of Pepsi while I watch the results.

I don't have those channels, alas.

I've been thinking about this a lot, and I honestly believe that had Mrs May said something along the lines of "the referendum vote was too split to go for a hard Brexit, so whilst we'll leave the EU we're going to work to keep a lot of what the 48% like about it whilst also respecting the 52%" she might have been more of a national , unifying figure. But her position in the Tory party was so precarious she couldn't risk holding out an olive branch.

All of a sudden I'm working from home on Friday....

I'd love to work from home, but left my laptop at work, so better go in...

I do plan on staying up though...

I'll be very happy if the SNP lose seats.

Her problem was that she tried to outflank /herself/ on the right.

First gain of the night, Labour take Rutherglen and Hamilton West from SNP

265 is the marginal vote to beat...

Heh, yes.

Prick Davies may have lost to the WEP in Bradford! Amber Rudd may be gone!

Don't tell Mali!