Be Excellent To Each Other

Only if you want awesome desserts. And more space.

I really, really want a pulled pork on dirty white bread sandwich right now.

Most frustrating about this is that while we actually do have dirty white bread for the first time in months (because we decided that the every-Thursday mobile chippy deserved some love last night but fuck their overpriced bread), all the pulled pork (of which there is quite a lot) is well and truly frozen.

At lunch today multiple other people told me I should give up software to park a smokehouse van outside the building.

I'm considering asking the company to change my job title to Senior Meat Engineer; I'd still do the stuff I do now but, unlike Senior Software Engineer, I could actually perform my job title at the same time.

They would be getting MORE value for their money.

I was given a copy of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat for my birthday. I've only just dipped into but so far it looks like it's going to be an interesting read and if it delivers like I think it will, I suspect that a few of the foodies on here will also like and learn stuff from it. It was recommended to me by HC's cousin who is an engineer, so I'm trusting that the science parts of it are legit.

I was also given a Hocho Santoku knife, which I have to say is pretty awesome. Obviously, it's beautifully balanced and very sharp. I'll keep you posted on how it pans out with regular use and how easy it is to maintain the edge. I'm lead to believe that it should only really need sharpening very infrequently. I'm mildly anal about keeping my knives sharp and have a plethora of devices for maintaining their edges, such as a Lansky's kit, various diamond blocks, and a belt sander!

I suggested that book to the other Yes, Chef!s and they scoffed at it.

See, Chefs?

I scoffed indeed. Not at the content, I'm sure it's great, but at the wording of the description that suggests she discovered some incredible set of secrets, rather than just writing a book about the stuff that other chefs knew anyway because McGee had written it all down when she was 5 years old.

I got Cheese, Bacon, More Cheese, More Bacon for Christmas.

Hey Yes, Chefs!
Teach me how to cook a hunk of meat (say, brisket) on a bbq. What do I need over and above meat + fire?

Booze and attitude.

I have booze

A monogramed apron.

A pan of water, some rub for the meat, and a couple of thermometers - one for the meat, one for the temp of the BBQ.

You'll want your coals all over one side, and the meat on the other. Water pan above the fire, and check it every hour or so to make sure it doesn't run dry. You'll want the BBQ itself to be between 225 and 275F (so much bbq stuff is American, thinking in F is easier).

Give the meat a good plentiful rub with dry spices. You can go as simple as just salt and ground black pepper, or scale up to whatever you like. I like paprika, cumin, and garlic powder myself. Get it on the fire, and wait. Drink while you wait. You're aiming for the middle of the meat to hit something like 200-205F.

Take the meat off and wrap it up in towels to rest for an hour if you have the time.

How big a piece are we talking about?

You don’t need a lot of specialist kit, but you do need time and care.

Don’t start with brisket. It’s a pain to cook, it’s lean and dries out very easily and takes a really long time. Pork ribs or pork shoulder are a more gentle introduction.

And get good charcoal. The Yes, Chef!s recommend Heat Beads.

Read this: https://amazingribs.com/tested-recipes/ ... ork-recipe
And this: https://amazingribs.com/more-technique- ... e-indirect

I'd agree with doc on brisket, especially as in the UK unless you can find a butcher that will specifically sell you a packet cut brisket, what you'll get here will always just be the flat part, which is an even bigger dick for smoking.

I have a Simpsons one.
And a hat.

For first go? Tiny, about 1.5kg.

I most likely have the dick smoking stuff. I will try and blind my local butcher with meat science and see what he can sell me.

Fuck



I've got Pork Loin, which I normally slow cook, but then I read that link and now I feel like a bad person.

Also, I realise I punctuated Yes, Chef!s incorrectly.

I don't think anyone's mentioned how much time you'll need.

Brisket will take about 12 hours, and then you need to let it rest for around 1.

The one we did for MeatUp last year took about 53 hours, but we did that differently

Yeah, loin is a bad choice. You want fat, and you want connective tissue.

Also if you're doing a pork shoulder, it'll take four hours longer than you think it will. Always.

I figured it was an early start, although possibly not that early.

Depends how big it is. A full packer brisket (not that Joans has that) is 18-22 hours...

But this touches on something else: you’re not cooking to time, you’re cooking to internal temperature. The actual cooking time will be plus or minus some, depending on how warm you run the BBQ, how successfully you hold the BBQ temp in the ideal range, the weather, how often you open it, the mysteries of that specific piece of meat, etc etc. And when I say “some” I mean “maybe as much as two or three hours.”

Yes Chef!s are wrong, Oxford Charcoal Company is the best fuel.

A man is coming to my house in Wednesday to redraw my garage to include a large offset smoker.

Oh, there’s better fuel if you’re prepared to go deep into the weeds, I concede. I hear good things about the London Log Company. But they’re mostly for pro catering and have scary minimum order amounts and stuff. Whereas Heat Beads are on Amazon.

(They’re also very good. Have you used them?)

So he needs a meat thermometer first right?

Edit: yes.

No, because I have already settled on my preferred hipster charcoal. It works for me and Phil the DPD driver knows where I live and which place to put stuff.

Also: 50 quid order gets free delivery. That's 4 7.5kg bags.

One of these is good:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/AMIR-Thermomet ... 00SKC24D6/

And something like this is a massive help:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Morpilot-Wirel ... 077TF4TGH/

Hmm, that's cheaper than heat beads. I may give them a shot.

Although Heat Beads are fucking voodoo, and stay hot forever.

I ordered some stuff from London Log Company back in 2014, still have most of carefully stored in my shed

I dug out the email and I bought 50KG of various charcoal and not really used it. Was ordered before our first child so I appear to have had time and money for this sort of stuff back then

They are expensive the 2014 price list went from £18-£68 for a 10KG bag of lump wood depending on the species of tree

Interesting point on heat beads will try them, I use mostly lump wood charcoal some restaurant grade, some not.

Will buy cheap briquette stuff when I just need to burn all the crap off my BGE.

If you need to be cooking for that length of time, how often do you usually need to change the coals? And how do you do that without it dropping the temperature too much?

With hipster charcoal I get 4+ hours out of half a bag in my 57cm Weber Smokey Mountain - keeping the fire damped by restricted inlet and exhaust plus regular dumping of raw wood lumps for the true barbecue experience makes the coals last ages.

My original Brinkmann is about the same but smaller so less coal. My learning offset smoker however has a tiny firebox so burns through coals quickly needing top-up.

And you're correct, "if you're looking you ain't cooking", so adding lit coals in one area and letting it slowly burn across the rest means not having to go in much. Smokers usually provides access to the firebox without opening the cooking chamber.

Opening a BBQ to top up coals only caused a very brief drop in temperature typically. If you're using shitty supermarket charcoal you'll be doing it every hour. If you're using something voodoo like heat beads, more like every 6 hours.

Hipster charcoal generates almost no ash and very little smoke (and of the good kind) when lighting, so there is no changing the coals, just chucking "this much seems about right" fresh on top.

Offsets do, not so much for other types.

All three of my column smokers have a door in the side below food level. Even taking the barrel off keeps the food under lid.

When the *water* needs replacing causes more problems, but I rarely actually need to, even in a 5-6 hour cook.

Good work

The man is coming round on Wednesday to measure up the garage plans including a third of it becoming a smokery.

Not sure what I'll do with these 4 smokers then. Give them away I guess. But not the 57cm Weber, that's too awesome.

I've even started doing offset grilling work in my kettle BBQ now, being 57cm there's enough space.

I used 2 bags instalight charcoal in the weber and all the food was burnt and all fuel used up in an hour.

Previously I had some charcoal logs which were so much better so will use them in future.

MeatUp happily accepts hardware donations.

It's surprisingly good at it, it really is.

The only only thing he didn't order was booze and attitude. :-|

But how will I get it there?

I have already promised one to a guy at work and maybe did the same for one of the others this evening when I spotted another guy buying coal who loves my beans in Morrison's and spent half an hour telling him to buy hipster charcoal and how to use it, though.

Since Joan's also purchased an instant pot from the conversations on here, I thought I'd revive this thread.

Today we have made the African Peanut Stew. It was bloody lovely. Sorry I didn't take a photo until the stuff that is going in the freezer had gone cold.

Also, needs more sweet potato.

Pulled pork in peanut sauce. Just tried a bit, it is impressive and tasty for how long it took.

The butter chicken was beautiful, lovely and tender. Cooked from frozen breasts too.

The breasts had been out the freezer all day, so were mostly defrosted.

My brother is making the vegan chilli today to try the pot for the first time. Ma is on hand as Sue* Chef, and then he’s going to try the frittata.


*I know that’s not how it’s spelled, but that’s her name.

Ooh, I want to try the frittata, let me know how he gets on.