Be Excellent To Each Other

I once came very close to booking a gig ticket in Alaska because I thought 'AK' was for Arkansas. It was only when Google Maps said it would be a 4,000 mile trip to the venue that I realised it might not be feasible on that particular trip.

I'm still not sure if Missouri is pronounced Miz-oor-ree or Miz-ooor-rah.

I strongly suspect it depends whether you've got a Confederate General's uniform on at the time.

You know how sometimes you're walking along, and you fart, and a fart comes out each time you take a step? I just hit seventeen. Seventeen steps, seventeen farts. I'm a little bit emotional right now.

As part of a "Business in the community" initiative, I'm talking at a local inner-city school tomorrow. I might tell that story.

We need a POTW button.

Do The Joke, then ask how much a polar bear weighs. Just enough to break the ice.

My fucking hero.

"Stepping on ducks" is the term I've heard used to describe this phenomenon.

I've heard it as The Ugly Duckling.

Because he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack.

Is this something you've been working on, technique-wise, or did it just happen?

It's like skimming stones, really it's one throw/fart that's broken down into sections due to surface bounce / repeated arsehole dilation.

Still, it's a wonderful achievement.

Has anyone heard of the "Alphaburp"?
A mythical act of burping - uninterrupted - the entire alphabet in one single belch.
I've never been much of a burper, but a Client ( ) is truly awesome at it - yet even he, with truly astonishing technique and technical prowess, can only ever get to "L", whereupon he loses all remaining gas.

He should try Hebrew

Is that some craft beer?

I met a girl at Lancaster university who could get to "Q" on her best days. She was tiny, too.

"Q"...?
Wow, that's awesome - ledge!

I reckon Bobby could have had a shot in his youth.

Silly question, but they have turned it off, right?

I'd have kept lobbing all manner of creatures into it. Imagine the possibilities!!!

Weeellll that's not really how nuclear reactors work under the most serious failure modes. Meltdowns can destroy the off switch.

As can MutatoWeevils

I was listening to Today this morning on the way into work and there was a piece about the civil war in Yemen and how effectively the Middle East's richest nation is kicking fuck out of the poorest, with child mortality rates now in ridiculously sad territory.

It's unfeasibly grim what's going on over there.... and yet throughout the entire harrowing piece all I could think of was how funny it was when Chandler Bing had to go to Yemen that time.

So I'm asking basically if I'm some kind of closet serial killer sociopath or if anyone else does that kind of stuff whilst listening to unequivocally bad news and it's a normal defense mechanism for our comfortable Western psyche?

I have a friend who was the lead doctor person to tackle child malnutrition in The Yemen. She left after SA really stepped up the bombings. I was worried every day. She's superb, and far more worthy a person than I.last i heard from her, was off to Haiti.

Seen on the mag rack in Shoprite yesterday. I still have no idea who this woman actually is, outside of that fucking picture of her with MaliA.

I was like, I recognise her, now I'm going to look like an arse for taking a picture of a magazine for no apparent reason whilst stood in a queue at Shoprite.

On the plus side, Pizza Express pizzas for cheap out of the pogger bin! And Stowell's wine, (a superior tipple to my usual boxed Tesco Pinot Grigio), three boxes for fifty quid!

Yes, all the time. But the fact that you think 'is this bad?' is a good sign. I hope. Or maybe something more disturbing. Stop arguing with yourself. If you can.

I still don't know who Jacqui Byfleet is either.

That Green leather jacket would look great in MaliAs yellow Porsche.

That's how far I got before I thought "Well, I guess I'm going to Yemen!", so I wouldn't worry.

It's just as well we don't sell arms and weapons to the Saudis and other nasty regimes.

Oh.

Companies that sell unlicensed medicines - "early access" or whatever it's called - anyone know anything about them? Am applying for a ridiculously well paid job at one shortly, and would be good to know if this is well dodge or fairly normal. It's listed on the AIM stock exchange so can't be completely illegal or anything, but sounds like an ... interesting business model.

@gaywood - not seen that before and have something of a man crush on Louis C.K. so a suitably large number of thanks for that link.

The "..but Maybe" elements are probably what lies behind most U.S. Policy these days.

They're certainly legit:

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/apply-for-t ... cheme-eams

It's got to be a pretty niche market though. You've got to have the right drugs, and people who both need them and are willing to pay the usually pretty exorbitant prices.

Sounds like something that Martin Shkreli would do.

If you get the job and get a discount we're going to have a chat, Mr Chris.

Orkambi is expensive.

I love that sketch. I have it basically memorised.

If you really loved it you'd have it elaborately memorised.

Fine I'll get it tattooed on my stomach to win an internet argument with an idiot

Touché, sir. Touché.

So sweet

Hey, happy birthday Russ! Just saw it on the main board page.

Many happy returns, you young whippersnapper, you! (well jell!!!)

I've helped list a few companies on AIM (including that bastard crazy frog ring tone company); it was said knowingly.

AOL Instant Messenger

America On Line

I'm in Northampton on business. Not that one, the one in Massachusetts.

Snowy McSnowcone(*) is due at 4am, so I'm preparing at the town brewery with a skinful and a burger now, and a reuben and bottled skinful to take back to the hotel (which is against the law apparently).

Snowy had BETTER show up or I'm screwed.

* http://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=3eb0d535b892499b&hl=en&gl=UK&source=wweather

It sounds like you're okay - as in, things are shut due to snow. Remember: only travel in an emergency (like, if you need more beer).

Some of my American friends are posting snow pictures on facebook and I'm well jelly.