Be Excellent To Each Other

Yarp.

We'll make the company pay to relocate the dog as well. The other plan was to get a dog while we're out there and then have it shipped back with us, but we're getting a bit desperate.

This is the other one we're considering

It's a bedlington-whippet cross rather than bedlington-feck knows.

You know that's TWO dogs, right?

The one at the back is the mum. The puppy is the one at the front.

Second one is a winner for me.

I think they're both ridiculously gorgeous, but we've got a massive soft spot for Bedlingtons, particularly the whippet crosses. Our neighbour has one (and a big arse wolfhound thing) that we take for walks. She loves the kids so will actually just hop their wall and come and see the boys if they're in the garden. When they got back from holiday recently the first thing Jazz did was jump over their wall and come and scratch on our door

Lunch and Dinner.

Don't yuck my yums, dude.

Suggesting names for the cute puppies!

They're gorgeous, but probably best to just get one, and also let the kids pick.

Also, apologies if serious.

Get both, and make the kids drown one to teach them the value of loss

Get both and drown a kid.

Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

Dog one for the win. He ain't got no mommy and needs a mommy. You be his mommy.

That would only work if I had one posh kid and one cockney layabout.

Wait, you mean you don't? How are you raising these kids, man?

He should get a third. And two dogs.

*narrows eyes*

An extra child, two dogs, and an irritated baboon. That way the kids compete not to be worst child, because worst child has to play with the baboon.

As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you get to play with the irritated baboon.

I keep on reading that as an irradiated baboon.

The irradiated baboon is for when a child is really naughty.

Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.

Racist

And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

The dog comes with a free kid

And a baboon.

I have two of those already.

Packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus.

Yeah? I keep thinking I should do that. Is it horrible?

Ask Hearthly

He's too busy repeatedly banging on about Kashmiri peppers to give it his full attention currently.

Do not mix the two. I cannot see a vasectomy that involves Kashmiri peppers being a pleasant experience.

Nah. Piece of cake.

I watched them do mine. The tubes are like noodles!

ThisisOxfordshire: Witney is 'no fun' anymore.

[childish penis-like-a-noodle joke here, please sub]

Mine was an odd one - I had it done under local anaesthetic at the local medical centre (not the hospital). All was fine as he sliced me open, but then my heart rate and blood pressure plummeted once he started messing about with my tubes (ooer) and he stopped the operation. He said my body was apparently aware it had basically had a massive kick in the genitals and was responding accordingly. It was weird - I was fine in myself but my body was not happy at all. So I then went and had it done under general anaesthetic a few weeks later. I was a bit sore for two or three days, but nothing major.

Having a vasectomy is just like going to the dentists really.

Apart from a man shaves your balls and you can feel your testicles being pulled about and then you get an infection.

I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

If that's the case then they're doing being married with kids wrong.

No, that sounds quite a lot like some dentists.

I make the time. The energy? That's what caffeine if for

Does MrsDavpaz?

That such a man thing to say.

We let our wives look after the kids while we go out and have sex with hookers.

Pretty, much?

Unprotected sex with hookers?

I prefer wingers.