Be Excellent To Each Other

They used to work, when the trains were built. Then everyone realised it was a bit pointless, just open them all at every stop.

They took them away due to a combination of "trains are at the station longer" and "people are cunts".

However, sometimes they do work. If a tube is delayed at a station the driver might shut the door and you can use the buttons to open them.

If you're really bored you can read all about it: http://www.lurs.org.uk/documents/pdf%20 ... 0stock.pdf

Oh my goodness, Davpaz, please don't listen to these guys. It's a cruel trick played on 'outsiders' to get them trapped on the train.

The doors only open if you press the button, but it requires 12 people to want to get off at that particular door for it to open (cost-saving measures) so as you pull in to the tube station, if nobody else is alighting, you have to hit that button very quickly at least a dozen times. Really hammer it furiously as you only have about eight seconds between the train pulling into the station and it coming to a complete stop.

It's the original reason behind the coining of the phrase 'tourist trap'.

Also remember that you have to flag the tube down (by waving your arm, just like you would with a bus) otherwise the driver won't stop for you.

If on a bus, make sure you ring the bell once for each passenger wishing to alight. Bus drivers are also really short of change all the time, so they do appreciate it if you pay with small denomination coins.

As an actual thing which I fell prey to: You get on the buses at the front, and then get off at the back or in the middle.

I fought my way back to the front to say thank you to the driver on the way off as I am polite and a gentleman, and then was lost as Mimi had got off correctly from the middle doors and was looking at me incredulously as to why I'd gone the wrong way.

You can say thank you as you get on.

You don't pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.

Actually, serious point, busses don't accept cash.

Just going to put a shout out for London zoo. It's a bit pricey but the kids will love it. They also have tiger cubs at the moment, they were born quite recently. Take a packed lunch.

Another shout out for the Nat/Sci museums. They're both excellent.

If they're not scared of heights, then the London eye is good fun.

so that explains her disappearance from social media. She's stuck on the north London line.

London Zoo IS good, but Davpaz goes to Chester Zoo, which is honestly superior (zooperior) in every way.

Afraid so. Chester Zoo rocks

Just got an email saying Jon hare and the sociable soccer team will be at the science museum when you're there. The event is called power up and you'll be able to play sociable soccer and stuff.

When is that?

From tomorrow until august 7 apparently.

I was thinking of going during a lunch break but it's the school holidays so it will be full of kids. Boo-urns.

And northerners

Hilton Bracknell breakfast is very nice.

*Burp*

I have to go to Bracknell every now and again to show people graphs. 11 hours on trains for a 40 minute meeting.

My company's UK HQ is in Bracknell and I've never been.

I once watched a basketball match there.

Bracknell is quite close to Bisley Camp so I've visited the place quite often. I prefer Bisley

Our UK HQ is in Coventry and is basically two rooms and a small kitchen. It's nice to see the other UK guys occasionally but all of us are home-based so if I were to go into the office today, chances are there'd be nobody there.

The Bracknell bypass that connects the M3 and M4 is great for absolutely hooning it down.

I've just booked a meeting at HQ for 7am tomorrow.

I have many many many times

I think I've been to Bracknell but can't really remember anything about it, (or even if I did really go there or just somewhere close by) - says a lot for how memorable it is. Or how good my memory is. Or how memorable Bracknell is.

Just passed through Richmond station. London, I am almost in you

Stood on Westminster Bridge. Chinese couple in full wedding regalia walking down the middle of the road. London does disappoint

In honour of Davpaz's visit, and according to the 'one in, one out' policy implemented since Brexit, I've taken the family to Brighton

Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty

Just seen a guy in an old Porsche get arrested for approaching Buckingham Palace in a car.

Dick

His name is Phillip.

Cavey's first name is Phillip?

No. Captain.

Crashed the Porsche dreaming of electric sheep?

(yeah, that was crap.. better than the 'Man in the High Castle' / Windsor Castle one I had originally though)