That London (for a day)

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

And what's your schedule like in terms of arrival time and leaving time?

Meh. We're staying in Windsor, so apart from avoiding peak rush hour travel, we're easy

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

If you plan on the museum taking 3-5 hours (depending on your little 'uns appetite for such things), you'll probably want a shorter thing planned also.

Here's a 35 min walk that takes in the Houses of Parliament, the Mall, Buckingham Palace, Green Park. There's a Tube stop at either end (Hyde Park Corner and Westminster). That could be a good morning activity if you do the museum in the afternoon, or vice versa.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:11

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Obv we can't do the city in one day, but anyy hints on where we should head for a day trip with two young kids would be appreciated. Any commuting tips from Windsor, also?

SMASH CUT TO
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 1001102473

Quote:

A NORTHERN man has left a trail of terror across London by attempting to interact socially with everyone he meets.

Stephen Malley has left residents of the capital traumatised by his relentless onslaught of cheerful chat and maintained eye contact.

Euston ticket office operative Julian Cook said: “I pushed his Travelcard at him while staring fixedly downward but instead of scurrying off, head bowed in shame, he just stood there.

“I realised that his earlier remark about London attractions was not addressed to a Bluetooth headset but to me, and that he actually expected an answer.

“I closed my position immediately and have an appointment with the trauma counsellor.”

Malley’s campaign of terror spread to pubs, where he attempted to engage strangers with prying questions about what sort of day they were having. Later he left an entire tube carriage confused and angry with multiple light-hearted remarks about how crowded it was.

Malley said: “I’m actually a surly, miserable bastard, but when Northerners come down here we do this to ensure the people of London never visit us to discover our beautiful landscape and abundant, cheap housing.

“What a relief it was to arrive at Warrington station last night and tell the Big Issue seller to go fuck himself.”

It was terribly odd when we moved up to have people speak to us. We'd go out to to have a drink and the whole room would interact with each other on what passes for a sociable level up here. Even the staff.

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:12

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

If you plan on the museum taking 3-5 hours (depending on your little 'uns appetite for such things), you'll probably want a shorter thing planned also.

Here's a 35 min walk that takes in the Houses of Parliament, the Mall, Buckingham Palace, Green Park. There's a Tube stop at either end (Hyde Park Corner and Westminster). That could be a good morning activity if you do the museum in the afternoon, or vice versa.

Can never tire of that triangle between Parliament, Whitehall, and Buck House. Access to Downing Street might be tricky, mind - cut across Horse Guards (under the arch opposite Banqueting House) instead.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

The Tube is fine outside of rush hour, as others have said. (And it's not usually that bad during rush hour either.)

It's worth noting that there is a ban on Tube travel for families with children from 8-9.30am and from 4:30-7pm during school holidays.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

This isn't even a little bit true

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

I really wish it was true

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

If you're looking for relaxing and taking in the sights, I don't think I can recommend the BOAT highly enough.

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:19

Cras wrote:

If you're looking for relaxing and taking in the sights, I don't think I can recommend the BOAT highly enough.

This.

Thinking of the Smoke, am I alone in thinking that Buck House is actually quite austere and ugly?

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Big Oscillating Arse Trumpet?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:30

DavPaz wrote:

Big Oscillating Arse Trumpet?

Depends if Craster's working that day.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:31

General London advice:
Get the CityMapper app: https://citymapper.com/london
Stand on the right on escalators.
When you go to get on the tube (or a train) one of the parents should take the kids through the luggage gate at one end of the turnstiles - don't try and make them walk through a smaller one when an adult has tapped in.
Move down the platform, move down the train
Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

Place to visit advice:
Depending on how you get from LegoLand to London, you might pass fairly close to Kew Bridge steam museum, which is full of awesome steam engines and not tourists looking at dull models of antelopes. http://www.waterandsteam.org.uk/
St. Paul's is fucking awesome. It does cost £15 to get in, but you can look around the Whispering Gallery and the Crypt.
If you've never been before, you might want to go and look at Tower Bridge, Trafalgar Square, Picadilly Circus and Leicester Square.
One of the Royal Parks is worth a visit - I've always liked St. James's, although it's one of the smaller ones. Don't feed the ducks.
If you're feeling spry (and I doubt you are with two kids) you can climb up The Monument for £3. It's a fucking long way.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:32

Cras wrote:

If you're looking for relaxing and taking in the sights, I don't think I can recommend the BOAT highly enough.

I thought about putting that, but it's pretty expensive and (unless you get off at the O2) you'd have to pay twice.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

These are all excellent. I will collate them and present them to The Decider this evening.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Kern wrote:

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

If you plan on the museum taking 3-5 hours (depending on your little 'uns appetite for such things), you'll probably want a shorter thing planned also.

Here's a 35 min walk that takes in the Houses of Parliament, the Mall, Buckingham Palace, Green Park. There's a Tube stop at either end (Hyde Park Corner and Westminster). That could be a good morning activity if you do the museum in the afternoon, or vice versa.

Can never tire of that triangle between Parliament, Whitehall, and Buck House. Access to Downing Street might be tricky, mind - cut across Horse Guards (under the arch opposite Banqueting House) instead.

So you can actually walk down Downing Street (sometimes)? I just assumed it was blocked off.

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:38

DavPaz wrote:

Kern wrote:

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

If you plan on the museum taking 3-5 hours (depending on your little 'uns appetite for such things), you'll probably want a shorter thing planned also.

Here's a 35 min walk that takes in the Houses of Parliament, the Mall, Buckingham Palace, Green Park. There's a Tube stop at either end (Hyde Park Corner and Westminster). That could be a good morning activity if you do the museum in the afternoon, or vice versa.

Can never tire of that triangle between Parliament, Whitehall, and Buck House. Access to Downing Street might be tricky, mind - cut across Horse Guards (under the arch opposite Banqueting House) instead.

So you can actually walk down Downing Street (sometimes)? I just assumed it was blocked off.

No, I was being sarcastic. It's gated. Closest I've got to a picture outside the door was a replica at the Granada Studios Tour.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

DavPaz wrote:

So you can actually walk down Downing Street (sometimes)? I just assumed it was blocked off.

No, I gone done fucked up that part of the route.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

Grim... wrote:

Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

I once watched MrsDoc's train roll into the train station where we were meeting, she looked at the doors, she looked puzzled, then the train left. You *do* push the open button on surface rail, as I explained to her later...

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

I once watched MrsDoc's train roll into the train station where we were meeting, she looked at the doors, she looked puzzled, then the train left. You *do* push the open button on surface rail, as I explained to her later...

Oh, that's delightful.

asfish · **Joined:** 5th Dec, 2010 **Posts:** 3353

I was just looking at doing this for a trip in September.

For the hotel I picked one close to Waterloo station on the same side as the river as that's where we come into by train.

Its close to Big Ben which is what my son wants to see most of all, I also noted that there is a Sea Life place, Shrek Adventure and the London Dungeon very close by as well.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:42

We were going to do London for a weekend later this year but with one thing and another we've blown the money we had aside. Probably do it next year.

Whose house can we stay at?

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:45

asfish wrote:

IIts close to Big Ben which is what my son wants to see most of all

If you contact your MP or a friendly Lord you can arrange a trip up it.
Details here.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Kern wrote:

asfish wrote:

IIts close to Big Ben which is what my son wants to see most of all

If you contact your MP or a friendly Lord you can arrange a trip up TO it.
Details here.

Pedant FTFY

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:47

Cras wrote:

Kern wrote:

asfish wrote:

IIts close to Big Ben which is what my son wants to see most of all

If you contact your MP or a friendly Lord you can arrange a trip up TO it.
Details here.

Pedant FTFY

A trip up the Elizabeth Tower.

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:52

Depending on how old the kids are (I'd say 10+) Parliament is worth visiting. Free if you book through your MP or you can pay for a guided tour..

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

Kern wrote:

A trip up the Elizabeth Tower.

Title of Prince Philip's sex tape.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:24

asfish wrote:

I was just looking at doing this for a trip in September.

For the hotel I picked one close to Waterloo station on the same side as the river as that's where we come into by train.

Its close to Big Ben which is what my son wants to see most of all, I also noted that there is a Sea Life place, Shrek Adventure and the London Dungeon very close by as well.

Yep, those three are basically next door to each other. You'd do well to look into one of those passes that let you in to everything for a year or something. I think you only need to hit 5 attractions to be quids in (individually they are extremely expensive), and there are plenty outside London too.

That neck of the woods is also where I had my first date with the wife, and where our daughter was born! South Bank FTW!

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:33

The Grimlet was born at St. Thomas' too.

Firefox · **Joined:** 20th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 261

Grim... wrote:

Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

Who does that, then?

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 13:28

Firefox wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

Who does that, then?

Tourists.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16559

Why is there a button saying open that you aren't supposed to press? Idiot Londonders and their stupid tunnel trains.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

markg wrote:

Why is there a button saying open that you aren't supposed to press? Idiot Londonders and their stupid tunnel trains.

They used to work, when the trains were built. Then everyone realised it was a bit pointless, just open them all at every stop.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jul 19, 2016 13:38

markg wrote:

Why is there a button saying open that you aren't supposed to press? Idiot Londonders and their stupid tunnel trains.

They took them away due to a combination of "trains are at the station longer" and "people are cunts".

However, sometimes they do work. If a tube is delayed at a station the driver might shut the door and you can use the buttons to open them.

If you're really bored you can read all about it: http://www.lurs.org.uk/documents/pdf%20 ... 0stock.pdf

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25591

Oh my goodness, Davpaz, please don't listen to these guys. It's a cruel trick played on 'outsiders' to get them trapped on the train.

The doors only open if you press the button, but it requires 12 people to want to get off at that particular door for it to open (cost-saving measures) so as you pull in to the tube station, if nobody else is alighting, you have to hit that button very quickly at least a dozen times. Really hammer it furiously as you only have about eight seconds between the train pulling into the station and it coming to a complete stop.

It's the original reason behind the coining of the phrase 'tourist trap'.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4668

Also remember that you have to flag the tube down (by waving your arm, just like you would with a bus) otherwise the driver won't stop for you.

If on a bus, make sure you ring the bell once for each passenger wishing to alight. Bus drivers are also really short of change all the time, so they do appreciate it if you pay with small denomination coins.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12243

As an actual thing which I fell prey to: You get on the buses at the front, and then get off at the back or in the middle.

I fought my way back to the front to say thank you to the driver on the way off as I am polite and a gentleman, and then was lost as Mimi had got off correctly from the middle doors and was looking at me incredulously as to why I'd gone the wrong way.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:13

You can say thank you as you get on.

Kern · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:13

Grim... wrote:

You can say thank you as you get on.

You don't pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11843

Actually, serious point, busses don't accept cash.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2016 14:08

Just going to put a shout out for London zoo. It's a bit pricey but the kids will love it. They also have tiger cubs at the moment, they were born quite recently. Take a packed lunch.

Another shout out for the Nat/Sci museums. They're both excellent.

If they're not scared of heights, then the London eye is good fun.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2016 14:09

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Don't press the "open" button on the tube doors

I once watched MrsDoc's train roll into the train station where we were meeting, she looked at the doors, she looked puzzled, then the train left. You *do* push the open button on surface rail, as I explained to her later...

so that explains her disappearance from social media. She's stuck on the north London line.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25591

DBSnappa wrote:

Just going to put a shout out for London zoo. It's a bit pricey but the kids will love it. They also have tiger cubs at the moment, they were born quite recently. Take a packed lunch.

Another shout out for the Nat/Sci museums. They're both excellent.

If they're not scared of heights, then the London eye is good fun.

London Zoo IS good, but Davpaz goes to Chester Zoo, which is honestly superior (zooperior) in every way.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Afraid so. Chester Zoo rocks

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 4299

Just got an email saying Jon hare and the sociable soccer team will be at the science museum when you're there. The event is called power up and you'll be able to play sociable soccer and stuff.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2016 22:08

When is that?

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 4299

From tomorrow until august 7 apparently.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2016 22:22

I was thinking of going during a lunch break but it's the school holidays so it will be full of kids. Boo-urns.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Grim... wrote:

I was thinking of going during a lunch break but it's the school holidays so it will be full of kids. Boo-urns.

And northerners

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38462

Hilton Bracknell breakfast is very nice.

*Burp*

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Jul 26, 2016 8:48

I have to go to Bracknell every now and again to show people graphs. 11 hours on trains for a 40 minute meeting.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Jul 26, 2016 10:22

My company's UK HQ is in Bracknell and I've never been.

Be Excellent To Each Other

That London (for a day)
(with kids) (and the wife)

Who is online

Be Excellent To Each Other

That London (for a day) (with kids) (and the wife)

Who is online

That London (for a day)
(with kids) (and the wife)