Bits and Bobs 47

myp · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 13:47

Grim... wrote:

Lonewolves wrote:

Sal and I went to see Dad's Army at the Rugby Odeon

My dad put together the Jones' van for that film.

I know! It looked awesome and they really captured the look and feel of the TV show. Shame about the script really.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Grim... wrote:

Oh, it's Burns Night.

This Burns Night I will mostly be celebrating in the traditional fashion, and watching Ghost in the Shell at the cinema.

I'm the worst (1/4) Scottish bloke ever.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

That's a big picture.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:42

Blame Trooper.

devilman · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:44

Bobbyaro wrote:

devilman wrote:

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I was allowed to look through the Argos catalog. If i had been especially good, i was allowed to look through the toy shop window.

I swear I didn't have a party every year, and if I did then I had to choose a cheaper present.

I suggest that to Mrs Grim... and she looks at me like I'm properly insane.

The only parties I remember going to as a child were at McDonalds, when our local one used to have a pirate ship children's area. I've no idea whose birthdays they were for - my memory of my childhood is so sparse, which annoys me.

Are you sure it was McDonald's or was it Viking Burgers

Definitely McDonald's, but I can't find any photos online of what it used to look like, so maybe my childhood was just a brain implant and I was created by ZX Spectrums.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:45

Our local McDonald's has seats that look like a train for parties.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:45

devilman wrote:

Bobbyaro wrote:

devilman wrote:

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I was allowed to look through the Argos catalog. If i had been especially good, i was allowed to look through the toy shop window.

I swear I didn't have a party every year, and if I did then I had to choose a cheaper present.

I suggest that to Mrs Grim... and she looks at me like I'm properly insane.

The only parties I remember going to as a child were at McDonalds, when our local one used to have a pirate ship children's area. I've no idea whose birthdays they were for - my memory of my childhood is so sparse, which annoys me.

Are you sure it was McDonald's or was it Viking Burgers

Definitely McDonald's, but I can't find any photos online of what it used to look like, so maybe my childhood was just a brain implant and I was created by ZX Spectrums.

Cease all motor function.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

WTF is Viking Burger

Kern · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:47

Danish.

TheVision · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 14:48

I remember going to a McDonalds party as a kid. It was my cousins and I was desperately disappointed that I wasn't picked to take a tour of the kitchens.

Our local McDonalds had a specific section for parties with a huge picture on the wall and seats in the shape of mushrooms (I think). They also had Styrofoam boxes for their burgers which never did anyone any harm as far as I'm concerned.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14489

Cras wrote:

>SNIP<

WTF is that green stuff - you don't put decorations on it

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

TheVision wrote:

They also had Styrofoam boxes for their burgers which never did anyone any harm as far as I'm concerned.

The day we left school we did a great big pub crawl from school into town. The enduring memory from that day was stopping off at McDonalds to try and mitigate some of the booze, and one of our number wolfing down a big mac then throwing it back up into the box, closing the box and walking away.

That wouldn't work so well with today's folded cardboard boxes.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

zaphod79 wrote:

Cras wrote:

>SNIP<

WTF is that green stuff - you don't put decorations on it

Parsley, I think. I quite agree - but then it's our staff canteen, they never get anything right.

myp · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:03

devilman wrote:

Bobbyaro wrote:

devilman wrote:

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I was allowed to look through the Argos catalog. If i had been especially good, i was allowed to look through the toy shop window.

I swear I didn't have a party every year, and if I did then I had to choose a cheaper present.

I suggest that to Mrs Grim... and she looks at me like I'm properly insane.

The only parties I remember going to as a child were at McDonalds, when our local one used to have a pirate ship children's area. I've no idea whose birthdays they were for - my memory of my childhood is so sparse, which annoys me.

Are you sure it was McDonald's or was it Viking Burgers

Definitely McDonald's, but I can't find any photos online of what it used to look like, so maybe my childhood was just a brain implant and I was created by ZX Spectrums.

The McDonald's in Southampton had a pirate ship area to sit in as well.

-edit- lol, *the* McDonald's. Now there's one on every corner.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:11

Lonewolves wrote:

devilman wrote:

Bobbyaro wrote:

devilman wrote:

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I was allowed to look through the Argos catalog. If i had been especially good, i was allowed to look through the toy shop window.

I swear I didn't have a party every year, and if I did then I had to choose a cheaper present.

I suggest that to Mrs Grim... and she looks at me like I'm properly insane.

The only parties I remember going to as a child were at McDonalds, when our local one used to have a pirate ship children's area. I've no idea whose birthdays they were for - my memory of my childhood is so sparse, which annoys me.

Are you sure it was McDonald's or was it Viking Burgers

Definitely McDonald's, but I can't find any photos online of what it used to look like, so maybe my childhood was just a brain implant and I was created by ZX Spectrums.

The McDonald's in Southampton had a pirate ship area to sit in as well.

-edit- lol, *the* McDonald's. Now there's one on every corner.

When you get to be more civilised they are replaced with Pret a Manger and Itsu.

devilman · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:14

What are their pirate ships like?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:20

Arrrrrrrrrsome.

TheVision · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:52

We've just had an email at work saying that there's an 'important' visitor coming at 4. The Conservative candidate for the Mayoral role for the combined authority.... The email has asked us to keep the noise to a minimum and look busy.

I think I'm going to take my shirt off at 3:59 and start smoking a cigarette at my desk.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 15:59

TheVision wrote:

We've just had an email at work saying that there's an 'important' visitor coming at 4. The Conservative candidate for the Mayoral role for the combined authority.... The email has asked us to keep the noise to a minimum and look busy.

I think I'm going to take my shirt off at 3:59 and start smoking a cigarette at my desk.

Tell him you don't want a lecture on communism.

Kern · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 16:35

The lead story on the BBC's news page for Oxford is about a cat with its head stuck in a jar.

That is all.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 16:45

Cras wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Oh, it's Burns Night.

This Burns Night I will mostly be celebrating in the traditional fashion, and watching Ghost in the Shell at the cinema.

I'm the worst (1/4) Scottish bloke ever.

[Big picture of Cras's lunch]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 0125105612

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6515

TheVision wrote:

We've just had an email at work saying that there's an 'important' visitor coming at 4. The Conservative candidate for the Mayoral role for the combined authority.... The email has asked us to keep the noise to a minimum and look busy.

I think I'm going to take my shirt off at 3:59 and start smoking a cigarette at my desk.

Try to have a half-drunk bottle of vodka on your desk as well.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 17:13

Squirt wrote:

TheVision wrote:

We've just had an email at work saying that there's an 'important' visitor coming at 4. The Conservative candidate for the Mayoral role for the combined authority.... The email has asked us to keep the noise to a minimum and look busy.

I think I'm going to take my shirt off at 3:59 and start smoking a cigarette at my desk.

Try to have a half-drunk bottle of vodka on your desk as well.

I've only drunk 1/4 of it.

Attachment:

2017-01-25 16.09.51.jpg

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6515

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 17:43

I'm doing much better on my whiskey.

Attachment:

2017-01-25 16.42.41.jpg

Jem · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 18:32

re: kids parties... Izzy's in November cost me nearly £500. Combo of room hire, DJ, decorations, party bags (even after getting a bargain for pre-made bags on ebay), food and the ingredients to make a fucking big cake.

Wanker ex said he'd contribute and I'm still waiting, obviously.

I told her if she wanted any more she'd have to pay for it herself though

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

Jem wrote:

re: kids parties... Izzy's in November cost me nearly £500. Combo of room hire, DJ, decorations, party bags (even after getting a bargain for pre-made bags on ebay), food and the ingredients to make a fucking big cake.

Wanker ex said he'd contribute and I'm still waiting, obviously.

I told her if she wanted any more she'd have to pay for it herself though

What was the value of present yield per invitee though?

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 4299

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Jem wrote:

re: kids parties... Izzy's in November cost me nearly £500. Combo of room hire, DJ, decorations, party bags (even after getting a bargain for pre-made bags on ebay), food and the ingredients to make a fucking big cake.

Wanker ex said he'd contribute and I'm still waiting, obviously.

I told her if she wanted any more she'd have to pay for it herself though

What was the value of present yield per invitee though?

Doesn't matter, it's just more shite to fill up the house.

I stared forlornly at the mountain of (shit) presents acquired from 30 kids at Mini-Fop's birthday this year. Where will this stuff live?

Attempts to enforce a one-in-one-out policy have thus far been resisted.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Jan 25, 2017 19:14

Build a wall.

And send THEM the bill.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

GazChap wrote:

I'm capable of eating cheese these days. Early days, but it's not an outright rejection any more

myp · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:55

I was thin when I first discovered I could eat cheese

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:14

I'm not allowed to eat very much cheese now.

Guidance being a matchbox sized portion per day, if any.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:16

When I went through a period of frequent and bad migraines as a kid, I was deprived of cheese, chocolate, and caffeine. Those were dark times.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Zardoz wrote:

I'm not allowed to eat very much cheese now.

Guidance being a matchbox sized portion per day, if any.

Zardoz's new matches.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:17

Cras wrote:

GazChap wrote:

I'm capable of eating cheese these days. Early days, but it's not an outright rejection any more

Hahaha

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:18

Zardoz wrote:

I'm not allowed to eat very much cheese now.

Guidance being a matchbox sized portion per day, if any.

I think that's the guidelines for everybody. You've just been told to stick to them, I guess.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:18

I assumed they meant this:

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:20

It's not that big a deal really, I still 'use' but mostly on toppings rather that having cheese butties etc.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Get a cheese slicer like this one

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01M3O ... ref=plSrch

You end up using a tiny amount, but still get the flavour

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:33

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat cheese anymore.. other than not eating cheese, and wishing I could eat cheese.

Findus Fop · **Joined:** 14th May, 2009 **Posts:** 4299

Zardoz wrote:

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Did you hear about the young lad who was sacked from the deli after he was caught with his nob in the cheese slicer?

Gore everywhere apparently. He lost catastrophic amounts of blood. He also contracted septicaemia, which has of course drawn the attentions of the council and the deli's licence is now under review. A lesson to us all.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Findus Fop wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Did you hear about the young lad who was sacked from the deli after he was caught with his nob in the cheese slicer?

Gore everywhere apparently. He lost catastrophic amounts of blood. He also contracted septicaemia, which has of course drawn the attentions of the council and the deli's licence is now under review. A lesson to us all.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:47

Findus Fop wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Did you hear about the young lad who was sacked from the deli after he was caught with his nob in the cheese slicer?

Gore everywhere apparently. He lost catastrophic amounts of blood. He also contracted septicaemia, which has of course drawn the attentions of the council and the deli's licence is now under review. A lesson to us all.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:48

Pundabaya wrote:

I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat cheese anymore.. other than not eating cheese, and wishing I could eat cheese.

You could suck my feet.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

MrChris wrote:

Findus Fop wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Did you hear about the young lad who was sacked from the deli after he was caught with his nob in the cheese slicer?

Gore everywhere apparently. He lost catastrophic amounts of blood. He also contracted septicaemia, which has of course drawn the attentions of the council and the deli's licence is now under review. A lesson to us all.

Clearly you've never heard the joke.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:31

DavPaz wrote:

MrChris wrote:

Findus Fop wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've already got a cheese slicer.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Mrs Z!

Did you hear about the young lad who was sacked from the deli after he was caught with his nob in the cheese slicer?

Gore everywhere apparently. He lost catastrophic amounts of blood. He also contracted septicaemia, which has of course drawn the attentions of the council and the deli's licence is now under review. A lesson to us all.

Clearly you've never heard the joke.

?

myp · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:34

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:35

I wouldn't open with it.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Joke spoilered

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Quote:

Man went into a butchers said what happened to your assistant?, butcher said I sacked him why? Was sticking his dick in the bacon slicer. what happend to your bacon slicer? I sacked her an all!

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 47

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