Bits and Bobs 47

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 11:54

MrChris wrote:

Why do you have a testicle button?

Autocomplete buttons. Type in test, getvan ption oF testicle

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

And yet it doesn't even try to parse "ption"? Hmmm.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

MrChris wrote:

And yet it doesn't even try to parse "ption"? Hmmm.

That's a word. It's an onomatopoeic description of the noise a trouser button makes when it bursts off and flies across the room.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Is that after you've pressed the testicle button?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Oh no. That makes an entirely different noise.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 12:44

Keyboard has no automatic autocompletion. or any autocorrection.

So leaving "ption" is... unsurpising.

TheVision · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 16:03

Does anyone like scratchings? I went to a scratching factory this morning. It stunk but it was great.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

*uncontrollable jizzing*

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25594

Is a scratching like pig skin? Like the crackling stuff?

KovacsC · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 16:13

yes, it is

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25594

Wouldn't that go off if you left it out of the fridge like that?

myp · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 16:14

Yummy

KovacsC · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 16:15

Mimi wrote:

Wouldn't that go off if you left it out of the fridge like that?

not is dried and preserved, like crisps. normally buy them in the pub

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

It's like a vegan nightmare

GazChap · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 16:54

The smell of that place must have been awful.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Shut your whore mouth

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 17:10

Cras wrote:

Shut your whore mouth

Hey, you're the one uncontrollably jizzing on dead Pigs.

Aiming for the PM job then?

TheVision · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 17:37

GazChap wrote:

The smell of that place must have been awful.

Imagine the smell that you get when you open a bag of scratchings. Multiply that by a billion... It was like that.

It was awesome.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

That's literally heaven.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 20:55

Jesus. One of the things I really mustn't eat any more...

I'll just jizz with Craster.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Now I really really want some scratchings.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 21:04

All those scratchings making me itch.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

And Ellie Harrison.

Jem · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 21:10

Someone bring me some scratchings.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 21:10

Can you make scratchings from people?

Asking for a friend.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

You'd need a fat hairy bloke for it to be authentic.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

MrChris wrote:

You'd need a fat hairy bloke for it to be authentic.

Hi guys what's going on in here?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

*backs out of thread*

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

do you even get ginger pigs? I think you're safe.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

MrChris wrote:

do you get ginger pigs? I think you're safe.

Over and above the standard 'I'm not ginger' objection, yes. Yes you do.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Dude. Come on. You're too old to be coy.

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2016 22:18

MrChris wrote:

do you even get ginger pigs? I think you're safe.

One of the best butchers around.

https://www.thegingerpig.co.uk

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:00

Cras wrote:

Over and above the standard 'I'm not ginger' objection

Your beard disagrees with you.

TheVision · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:45

I ate a shit load of scratchings last night and woke up twice in the small hours of the morning feeling rather sick. I wasn't sick, but it was like I had a crazy bout of acid indigestion come on all of a sudden.

Some more scratchings should put that fire out I reckon.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:47

TheVision wrote:

I ate a shit load of scratchings last night and woke up twice in the small hours of the morning feeling rather sick. I wasn't sick, but it was like I had a crazy bout of acid indigestion come on all of a sudden.

Some more scratchings should put that fire out I reckon.

It wasn't the scratchings, it was the coating of Crasters acid jazz.

myp · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:48

Mr Dave wrote:

TheVision wrote:

I ate a shit load of scratchings last night and woke up twice in the small hours of the morning feeling rather sick. I wasn't sick, but it was like I had a crazy bout of acid indigestion come on all of a sudden.

Some more scratchings should put that fire out I reckon.

It wasn't the scratchings, it was the coating of Crasters acid jazz.

ACID JAZZ *wah wah pedal*

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Look at this butt-plug-looking motherfucker of a mouse! It's nasty. Supposed to look like a penguin :shrug:

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25594

Goodness me. Someone on Teitter has just posted a picture of (apparently, though you'd not recognise him) Paul Gasgoune in the street, in an open dressing gown, naked underneath, cigarette in mouth, (accidentally) flashing people, apparently having caught a cab to buy alcohol.

It's heartbreaking. He's clearly very, very ill. He's so thin and just a hollow shell of 'Gazza'. He clearly needs help and care. When someone is making themselves so ill can't they be taken under care (I don't want to say 'forcefully' as that sounds like physical restraint... Which j guess it is... I don't know. He just looks like he desperately needs someone to help him.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/07/ ... g-addicts/

President of the Philippines calls for citizens to kill drug dealers and drug addicts. Medals will be given for confirmed kills.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 13, 2016 7:50

DavPaz wrote:

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/07/philippines-duterte-drug-addicts/

President of the Philippines calls for citizens to kill drug dealers and drug addicts. Medals will be given for confirmed kills.

It's the sort of big society we aim for

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Jul 13, 2016 9:09

Quote:

SEE ALSO: Filipino drug lords pitch in to raise $21 million for ‘Kill Duterte’ fund

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jul 13, 2016 10:05

DavPaz wrote:

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/07/philippines-duterte-drug-addicts/

President of the Philippines calls for citizens to kill drug dealers and drug addicts. Medals will be given for confirmed kills.

It's a bit like the FA did with football holigans.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38464

Grim... wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/07/philippines-duterte-drug-addicts/

President of the Philippines calls for citizens to kill drug dealers and drug addicts. Medals will be given for confirmed kills.

It's a bit like the FA did with football holigans.

But with machetes and assault weapons

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jul 13, 2016 10:07

DavPaz wrote:

Grim... wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/07/philippines-duterte-drug-addicts/

President of the Philippines calls for citizens to kill drug dealers and drug addicts. Medals will be given for confirmed kills.

It's a bit like the FA did with football holigans.

But with machetes and assault weapons

Like I said

TheVision · **Posted:** Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:02

Happy Black Country day everyone! I'm going to celebrate with a bag of scratchings.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:18

TheVision wrote:

Happy Black Country day everyone! I'm going to celebrate with a bag of scratchings.

Has it had the Craster treatment?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Nice to see this in the office. The wording amuses me though - it's like this isn't a company policy decision, the toilet has decided this all on its own

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25594

Is that applicable to all the bathrooms in your office?

myp · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2016 14:19

Cras wrote:

Nice to see this in the office. The wording amuses me though - it's like this isn't a company policy decision, the toilet has decided this all on its own

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Mimi wrote:

Is that applicable to all the bathrooms in your office?

It specifically points to the ladies, which makes sense I guess with it being all cubicles.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 47

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