Be Excellent To Each Other

That's pretty deep. Practice your water treading.

Wetsuits float..... i hope

Yes. Sufficiently so for french law to consider them a buoyancy aid howver this isn't that much.

Someone brought some Krispy Kreme in today to celebrate their birthday.

I've just watched a girl in the office cut a quarter off one of the ring doughnuts to eat. A quarter... A measly quarter. What's the point?

It's because she hates herself but still wants that sweet, sweet sugar

So she can hold the 'C' above your head when you turn your back.

I hate her too

As Julian Barnes points out in his superlative Flaubert's Parrot:

I tried to play Hawken online last night on my Xbox One. When it asked me to chose a region, the choices were Asia, Africa, Europe,North and South America, Australia and Antarctica. So I promptly had to turn my Xbox off and do something else.

Mysterious Chinese tourists are the most interesting thing to have appeared in Kidlington in years, apparently.

Coincidentally, I just passed some Chinese tourists taking selfies in the sunken roundabout/subway near me. Admittedly, it's a nice garden thing in the middle, when people aren't flinging their cars into it, but there have to be nicer things around here to look at it.

Sorry for the FB link, but I don't know how to link to the video alone, but... How wonderful is this?

https://www.facebook.com/YeahWeWorkout/ ... 053392659/

I ordered a season ticket for the Oxford City Stars the other day. Can't wait for the ice hockey season to start again. Must read up on the rules before then, however.

That reminds me, we still have Rocky V onwards to watch!

No.

I mean, I respect your decision to not watch any more Rocky films, but you're wrong. Not as wrong as that image though. Horrifying.

Just seen a trailer for a new series of robot wars on BBC2

You should stop at 4.

Don't listen to him Mimi! After 4, the Rocky films are dogshite

See, I know this, which is why I refuse.

Actually the moment that there was a robot butler in the series the whole thing was ruined.

But... but.... montage.

And the housekeeper who wasn't even Italian!

I've only seen the first and the last Rocky.

Robot butler?

I wish I were joking.

Even wronger in the context of the vote in Germany yesterday.

One of our colleagues in India often links to 'funny' pages on Facebook. One she has linked to today is a post from a page called 'be like bro'.

I've been reading it for 20 minutes, because though it's in English, the humour in the jokes really doesn't travel well, and therefore it is fascinating.

.

I'm not so sure that's humour travelling badly as much as it is just utterly appallingly unfunny.

Racist.

The snail one is almost, but sadly not quite, bad enough to work as an anti-joke.

Is it the same guy who did the three-legged mouse cartoons?

Well, this may be just about the best email I have ever received

Incredible.

So we've started on the garden and I've come across something I have seen before. Some googling suggests it could be a fungus, but I can't find a picture that looks the same. I'm not touching it in case an alien pops out or something. Any ideas folks?

It's a hippo, trapped in the wall.

It was time traveling and passing through a snapshot of time when that wall appeared. Poor Gary

Might be one of those Pokemon things

Jazzy's back garden in two weeks.

Or still them to craster:
http://m.souschef.co.uk/black-fungus-wo ... hroom.html

In all seriousness, a Bing search for ' black fungus' brought up a load of photos of something very similar, but as bing is shit, clicking through those images it's not possible, ffs.

Oddly, I hadn't used that search term. Now I have and it appears be King Alfred's cake! Thanks Bobby.

I got called a prick by Julia Hartley-Brewer on Twitter tonight!

She said "are you trying to be a prick?" You should have said no, it comes quite naturally.

True, but it's rare to get insulted by the Acceptable Katie Hopkins, which is what she was taking offence for anyway

Someone had left 45p in the vending machine at work. As this was obviously an honesty test, I paid for my mars bar (the chocolate flapjack I coveted was not working, again) and left that amount in the change dispenser.

Is the reason you know this because you left 45p in the machine on Friday as an honesty testicle?

So weird that you type the word 'testicle' more often than 'test'.

T'is my job. Automated Testicle Engineer.

Or alternatively, hit the wrong button.

Why do you have a testicle button?

For the Prince Albert, natch.