Be Excellent To Each Other

Absolutely shattered, but we fitted a kitchen! Zzzzzzzz

Bleached my hair so much in the last month that it started falling out a bit. Just, like, a handful.

But totally worth it coz now I got pink hair

Pic

Today I went to a buggy fitness class. I even wore my trainers, so dedicated was I.

But, nay, I was the only person who braved the weather, and as I would have died of shame bring the sole person with the trainer at buggy fit, the class was cancelled.

So, instead, I went to the arboretum cafe and caught Pokemon whilst enjoying a cappuccino and a massive piece of chocolate cake, because screw Buggy Fit.

Nay - had a stroppy teenager moment the other night and threw the TV remote in a strop. Everything seemed to be OK until I turned on the TV and noticed the corner looked like Spiderman had been at it
Thankfully it was in the bedroom, so I've only got a 40" 1080p Hitachi to replace. It could have been worse, I could have done it in the living room then I'd be fucked.

Yay - My step daughter (the younger of the two) is coming today. She goes to school at Millfield so every time she comes she name drops and shows us pics of her with celebs and sporting heroes. She goes to school with Angus Lineker so we always get to see her in selfies with Gary. Makes me so proud

Yesterday I attended a vow renewal. It's the wifes best friend and her husband. They've been married for ten years and decided to celebrate that fact by renewing their vows which was disguised as another wedding.

It's a nay because I consider it a bit of a waste of time and money. Fair enough, celebrate the ten years but why not just have a party? It's not like they're particularly religous or anything? Anyway, the yay comes as the wife got a little tipsy and you know what that means at bed time?

Yep... She fell straight asleep and left me to play my 3DS in peace and quiet. Yay!

My Wife had a Spa day Friday so I went to pick our 3 year old son up from nursery. The inlaws were staying with us so I took them along as well.

When we got there my son was delighted they I had come to pick him up as I don't do it very often, he was even happier when he noticed his grandparents as well.

So we drive home and he is chatting to his "granny" all the way. I was really happy as he speech has really come on in the last 3 months.

We are stopped at lights and his granny said to him. " It rained at home today, did it rain at school?"

He replies "Yes granny is rained when Noel was in the garden"

Then he says...... "Fucking rain" "Fucking rain" then shouts "Granny fucking rain, fucking rain"

After that he points at the local Harvester pub and asks me what is was so I tell him and we move on.

No question he has picked that up from his Dad I do curse a bit at home and this is the first time he has ever said anything and its sort of in context as well as he was trying to stress how much rain annoyed him.

Thankfully my mother in laws biggest issues was trying to stop herself bursting with laughter!

Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.

No, we all have moments like that, but now you at least have a massive sense of relief that the key isn't lost anywhere and going to fall into the wrong hands.

And you also know how easy it is to break into your house. Sort that out.

And you don't have to go to Timpsons. Huzzah!

0MG N00bL4R!111

I don't believe this story...

Surely your usual items also include a swimming cap for improved aerodynamics type things while swimming?

Plonker

Bins are a great burglar's tool though. A few years back my American chum came to stay with me and soon learned that once you close an English front door there's no opening it again without a key. Over there you have to lock them before they are locked.

So I used a bin and did a Spiderman but god, it sucked.



Did a quick pic. I had my back to the wall up there on the porch roof and honestly I stood there shitting my pants for over an hour. I kept trying to pluck up the courage to make the 13" or so step onto the window ledge but my legs kept going from underneath me.

In the end I did it and to this day there are still dirty hand marks all over the window frame inside at the top. Mums eyes are not what they once were but I left it there as a memento of the time we got locked out and laugh every time I see it

all the cool kids have oak doors and mortice locks, i can't lock myself out

Then you might find that you have no house insurance.

The front door is solid oak. That's the bin shed door

why? a seven lever mortice lock is approved.

I really don't need a swimming cap, Dave.

My insurance specifies that I have to have an automatic deadlatch, specifically because you can't leave it unlocked (which of course you can, but shh).

Not if you leave it unlocked

Neither did Duncan Goodhew but it never stopped him. Go for it Zardoz!

And you can decorate it accordingly.

I'm sure you can design something suitably mentally scarring.

Wow it's funny you mention him ! My mum's house is on the road where he grew up as a kid, and we even have a "Goodhew close"

I will double check..

Is it just a perspective trick, or are those doors so thin that only a stick insect would be able to fit through them?

Bin shed door

Title.



(am I doing this right?)

Title

That's a niche early-warning system.

New phone!

It takes a different size SIM.

Your phone store will swap them over for you.

Is it smaller? You could cut it yourself. I did this with my dads.

Yeah I know. I called Virgin earlier. They will have one with me by tomorrow, Thursday at the latest.

Is that your nickname for Joans?

Rumbled!

Don't do this. Firstly, going from micro SIM to nano SIM (which I am certain is what Jazzy is doing) isn't just smaller around - it's thinner too. Secondly, if you get the sizing even slightly wrong on a nano SIM, there's a small chance it can slip out of the tray and end up loose in the phone, or get wedged in. These are expensive things to fix. Your provider will swap your SIM for free.

Mini SIM to micro SIM was fine, but yeah, don't do it with the nano SIM.

I was reckless and did it with the nano SIM.

T'were right disappointing. So unfeeling.

(But my phone still works)

Sorry Vision, I didn't even see this post. Rich is right, I am going mini to Nano. I did look at it as it's already been cut down from one of the bigger ones but ruled it out. Virgin will give me a new one for free and it could probably do with updating anyway. No point leaving myself without a phone.

I like the giffgaff gaff sims. They send you one sim and it can have the inside bits pop out to become any size you desire.

I want it to be elephant sized.

How about the size of a teeny tiny elephant?

After 15 years, my Zeros snapped across the bridge. Ordered some Frogskins last night.

My Uncle was cutting some sort of metal rod\bar that he had in tension all on his own at his farm in France.

When he cut through and broke the tension it sprung and hit him in the face

Knocked him out for 30 minutes and he has a deep gash above his eye

He reckons had he been 6 or so inches closer when it sprung it would have take the top of his head off

Goodness! Both incredibly lucky and terribly unlucky. Best of wishes for his speedy recovery!

So how did this end up? I assume you've passed your probation, right? Have I missed the update in the Yay or Nay thread? Hoping for some resolution and a happy ending.

He's not got a job in a massage parlour, Mr Chris. You'll have to go elsewhere. I think Findus Fop and Gazchap might be able to help, for a price. Well, not much of a price in Gazchap's case.