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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:09 
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sneering elitist

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Bit bruised but enjoying being regarded as a local hero. :DD

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:16 
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Bloody hell, Jem! Hope you are okay?

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:32 
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Esoteric

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Good for you Jem. Hope you're not too bruised :)

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:43 
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Jem wrote:
Bit bruised but enjoying being regarded as a local hero. :DD

Are you going to be in the local paper with a picture of you standing, arms crossed, scowling at the trampled flowers?

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 13:00 
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Mimi wrote:
Are you going to be in the local paper with a picture of you standing, arms crossed, scowling at the guy's trampled face?

FeeX.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 13:19 
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sneering elitist

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Mimi wrote:
Jem wrote:
Bit bruised but enjoying being regarded as a local hero. :DD

Are you going to be in the local paper with a picture of you standing, arms crossed, scowling at the trampled flowers?


Ooh, that's a good idea. I might give the mayor a shout and see if it can be arranged. :DD

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 13:27 
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Hope you're not too shook up, Jem.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 13:38 
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sneering elitist

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Nah, I'm all good. More bothered about the flowers than the bruises. Thought they were council tax funded but found out afterwards that they're funded by community donations. :'(

What kind of grown man pulls up flowers then hits two women (my friend and I) when confronted? :belm:

The bruises are very pretty, too.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 13:43 
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I hope you're ok Jem! Remember, every bruise is a lesson, and each lesson makes us stronger.

My brother spent ages a while back find a bit of waste land, setting up a community scheme and getting some donations of fruit trees, decorative shrubs etc and planting them. A week later some little scrote had wrecked the whole lot. Never underestimate the urge of little shits to destroy anything worthwhile.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:05 
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Jem wrote:
Nah, I'm all good. More bothered about the flowers than the bruises. Thought they were council tax funded but found out afterwards that they're funded by community donations. :'(

What kind of grown man pulls up flowers then hits two women (my friend and I) when confronted? :belm:

The bruises are very pretty, too.


What the fuck? What a dick.

I assume charges will be pressed!? Or did he come off worse!!? :DD

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:08 
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Have you hidden the body?

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:11 
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flis wrote:
What the fuck? What a dick.

I assume charges will be pressed!? Or did he come off worse!!? :DD


I made a statement to the police etc but have said I don't want to press charges for any assault or anything. (Partly because after I let go of him the first time he started gobbing off again and so I ran at him and pinned him down by the throat while screaming "how fucking dare you?" in his face until he cried ... that bit could be classed as me assaulting him.)

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:13 
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I'm at the Aegon Champonships at Queen's Club. It's raining.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:15 
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Lonewolves wrote:
I'm at the Aegon Champonships at Queen's Club. It's raining.


Good luck, mate. Play the percentage game.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:17 
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MaliA wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I'm at the Aegon Champonships at Queen's Club. It's raining.


Good luck, mate. Play the percentage game.

70% chance I don't see any tennis at all I reckon.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 14:43 
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Jem wrote:
flis wrote:
What the fuck? What a dick.

I assume charges will be pressed!? Or did he come off worse!!? :DD


I made a statement to the police etc but have said I don't want to press charges for any assault or anything. (Partly because after I let go of him the first time he started gobbing off again and so I ran at him and pinned him down by the throat while screaming "how fucking dare you?" in his face until he cried ... that bit could be classed as me assaulting him.)

I love you.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 15:10 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

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Jem wrote:
flis wrote:
What the fuck? What a dick.

I assume charges will be pressed!? Or did he come off worse!!? :DD


I made a statement to the police etc but have said I don't want to press charges for any assault or anything. (Partly because after I let go of him the first time he started gobbing off again and so I ran at him and pinned him down by the throat while screaming "how fucking dare you?" in his face until he cried ... that bit could be classed as me assaulting him.)


:DD

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 18:01 
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Jem wrote:
flis wrote:
What the fuck? What a dick.

I assume charges will be pressed!? Or did he come off worse!!? :DD


I made a statement to the police etc but have said I don't want to press charges for any assault or anything. (Partly because after I let go of him the first time he started gobbing off again and so I ran at him and pinned him down by the throat while screaming "how fucking dare you?" in his face until he cried ... that bit could be classed as me assaulting him.)


Nope, that sounds like perfectly acceptable self defence as you were feeling threatened by someone who had hit you.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:22 
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Esoteric

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Bit of a mixed mood on this one so I'm naying but yaying or yaying but naying too.

After nearly two weeks Mrs JC and I have our housing forms plus all of the required stuff for an application. It's nearly an inch thick FFS. Hopefully at some point today we will be taking the car down to the council centre and submitting our application, praying we get considered for assisted housing/supported housing whatever.

I'm so nervous you couldn't drive a needle up my arse with a sledgehammer.

Sadly for the same nearly two weeks our landlady has refused (ignored us) to put in writing that she is selling the flat so I have had to take screen grabs of mobile phones and print those instead.

I think my brother had it spot on when he said "The cunt wants you there paying the mortgage until it's sold". So we need to be proactive and instead of sitting here waiting for our final doom we need to take a leap. It won't be a leap of faith however because I've been through all of this before and ended up finding my own flat after three months of stress. So I kinda know what's coming, unless some one comes to our rescue and offers us a place adequate for us to live with the support and protection we need.

Wish me luck sorta kinda.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:39 
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Best of luck with it all, JC.

Jem, totally missed your scuffle posts! You made him cry? :DD :metul:

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:40 
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JohnCoffey wrote:

Sadly for the same nearly two weeks our landlady has refused (ignored us) to put in writing that she is selling the flat so I have had to take screen grabs of mobile phones and print those instead.

This works in your favour. To terminate the rental agreement during the month-to-month rolling period, she must give you at least two full months notice in writing, dated from the day the rent is paid. That notice period hasn't started yet.

So if your rent is paid on the 15th, and she gave you the written notice tomorrow terminating the rental contract, you wouldn't have to leave until 15th September.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 13:11 
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sneering elitist

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Zardoz wrote:
Jem, totally missed your scuffle posts! You made him cry? :DD :metul:


Yeah man, he ran off squealing like a piggy.

And, the lady I was with at the same saw him in town this week and said that he is pretty ripped (muscley) so now I feel like a proper badass. :attitude:

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 20:39 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
JohnCoffey wrote:

Sadly for the same nearly two weeks our landlady has refused (ignored us) to put in writing that she is selling the flat so I have had to take screen grabs of mobile phones and print those instead.

This works in your favour. To terminate the rental agreement during the month-to-month rolling period, she must give you at least two full months notice in writing, dated from the day the rent is paid. That notice period hasn't started yet.

So if your rent is paid on the 15th, and she gave you the written notice tomorrow terminating the rental contract, you wouldn't have to leave until 15th September.


Excellent, so I still get one last summer by the sea.

We dropped in the forms today and have a phone appointment for July 6th.

We are looking at sheltered housing . When Mrs JC and I first started dating she was living in Dorset and I was about two hours away. I applied for a flat then but it was suggested I apply for sheltered accommodation. I was accepted and offered a flat but they refused to allow visitors to stay overnight so I politely turned it down and moved to Dorset shortly after.

I didn't realise they also offer sheltered housing to couples so that's what we're aiming for :)

I will miss the sea but winter here is torture. It's amazing that something so beautiful can become so crazy.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 23:12 
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JohnCoffey wrote:
It's amazing that something so beautiful can become so crazy.

My life in a nutshell.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 11:47 
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The govt won't let me have a social worker and have instead said that I need to rely on my psych for help. Tight fisted assholes. So Nay.

Then I remembered that last October we booked a lovely holiday for September. Yay ! It's kinda like when you find a tenner in your wallet you forgot you had :D

lol this thread is the best thing ever for Bipolars :D

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 13:49 
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I got my car back, the new window is very clean and shiny. Makes the rest of my car look filthy though(it is). :P

Also, my excess was £125, but I only had to pay £75 because it was an approved supplier.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 15:13 
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Yay(ish)!

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:20 
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The tide has changed it would seem.

After receiving a phone call from my psychiatrist five days after I asked him to call I got a strange phone call from a woman. Well, I actually got a message on my answer phone. She purports to be my new social worker !! So it would seem that the ear bashing I gave my psych worked and I have now been assigned a social worker. I will be calling her tomorrow morning because With the yay comes a nay. I am to be reassessed with regards to my disability payments and if it's anything like I saw recently with a friend I will be losing a large chunk of money every month. TBH though I really couldn't give a shit how much the gov fuck me because money really is completely unimportant when you are miserable most of the time any way. If anything having this money has made the misery worse, because I'm constantly buying crap and then feeling remorse after.

Of course with things like taxis to the docs and so on it's been invaluable, but some one has to pay for the Banker's errors and sadly it seems to be us disabled who are getting it in the neck even though after people quitting and them promising they wouldn't fuck us they are. Now that the media attention has died out they're giving us a proper rogering. That coupled with the cuts to things that we desperately need (like proper psychs and not locums and so on) are really making me feel rather ill right now. I just hope this social worker can actually help me, though I'm sure she will and hopefully filling in this mountain of forms will be easier and less stressful than before.

Back to the nays. Because of the drugs I am on my doctors refuse to put them on repeat prescription. Stuff like Zopiclone etc. However, I was getting around using drugs like that by taking a large dose of Quetiapine before bed. Sadly though my body started to reject it and I was having awful palpitations and ended up in A&E twice so the dose has been lowered and spread out around the day so it doesn't happen. That was all fine and dandy like but I couldn't sleep, so my psych put me on Zopiclone and my docs kicked up rough and they've both been arguing about it since.

Problem is my new psych continually makes mistakes. Last month he accidentally wrote "XR" on my prescription but XR (extended release) 25mg Quetiapine do not exist so the chemist refused to fill my prescription. I had to call him, wait four days for him to get back to me then go get a new one.

This month he's fucked up the prescription again. This month he's given me "one" 25mg Quetiapine at night, somehow forgetting that I take 50mg (2x25 immediate release) when I get up, 50mg at lunch time, 50mg at 3pm and 50mg at 7pm and 50mg at night. So now I am going to have to get on the blower to him again, walk round there again and go back to the chemist.

I can't even put into words how distressed I was when my last psych retired. I'd had him nearly three years and he was like a father to me. Sadly because of the cuts they haven't replaced him yet and I have to see this locum dude who really seems to be struggling. I can't really blame him because he had enormous boots to fill and he must be rushed off of his feet.

TL;DR welcome to a day in the life of JC.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 12:46 
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Sorry JC, but that's Yay then Nays.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 15:14 
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Folk band on in favoured local. Captain Shitpants resolutely sleeping through it all.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 17:59 
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Absolutely shattered, but we fitted a kitchen! Zzzzzzzz

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 19:28 
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Bleached my hair so much in the last month that it started falling out a bit. Just, like, a handful.

But totally worth it coz now I got pink hair :metul:

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 19:37 
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Pic :)

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 13:27 
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Today I went to a buggy fitness class. I even wore my trainers, so dedicated was I.

But, nay, I was the only person who braved the weather, and as I would have died of shame bring the sole person with the trainer at buggy fit, the class was cancelled.

So, instead, I went to the arboretum cafe and caught Pokemon whilst enjoying a cappuccino and a massive piece of chocolate cake, because screw Buggy Fit.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 13:41 
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Nay - had a stroppy teenager moment the other night and threw the TV remote in a strop. Everything seemed to be OK until I turned on the TV and noticed the corner looked like Spiderman had been at it :(
Thankfully it was in the bedroom, so I've only got a 40" 1080p Hitachi to replace. It could have been worse, I could have done it in the living room then I'd be fucked.

Yay - My step daughter (the younger of the two) is coming today. She goes to school at Millfield so every time she comes she name drops and shows us pics of her with celebs and sporting heroes. She goes to school with Angus Lineker so we always get to see her in selfies with Gary. Makes me so proud :)

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 14:03 
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Yesterday I attended a vow renewal. It's the wifes best friend and her husband. They've been married for ten years and decided to celebrate that fact by renewing their vows which was disguised as another wedding.

It's a nay because I consider it a bit of a waste of time and money. Fair enough, celebrate the ten years but why not just have a party? It's not like they're particularly religous or anything? Anyway, the yay comes as the wife got a little tipsy and you know what that means at bed time?

Yep... She fell straight asleep and left me to play my 3DS in peace and quiet. Yay!


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 14:11 
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My Wife had a Spa day Friday so I went to pick our 3 year old son up from nursery. The inlaws were staying with us so I took them along as well.

When we got there my son was delighted they I had come to pick him up as I don't do it very often, he was even happier when he noticed his grandparents as well.

So we drive home and he is chatting to his "granny" all the way. I was really happy as he speech has really come on in the last 3 months.

We are stopped at lights and his granny said to him. " It rained at home today, did it rain at school?"

He replies "Yes granny is rained when Noel was in the garden"

Then he says...... "Fucking rain" "Fucking rain" then shouts "Granny fucking rain, fucking rain" :o

After that he points at the local Harvester pub and asks me what is was so I tell him and we move on.

No question he has picked that up from his Dad :( I do curse a bit at home and this is the first time he has ever said anything and its sort of in context as well as he was trying to stress how much rain annoyed him.

Thankfully my mother in laws biggest issues was trying to stop herself bursting with laughter!


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 11:59 
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Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:04 
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No, we all have moments like that, but now you at least have a massive sense of relief that the key isn't lost anywhere and going to fall into the wrong hands.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:07 
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And you also know how easy it is to break into your house. Sort that out.


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:10 
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And you don't have to go to Timpsons. Huzzah!

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:27 
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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:32 
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Paws for thought

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 17154
Location: Just Outside That London, England, Europe
Zardoz wrote:
Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.


I don't believe this story...

Surely your usual items also include a swimming cap for improved aerodynamics type things while swimming?


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:37 
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Esoteric

Joined: 12th Dec, 2008
Posts: 11767
Location: On Mars as an anthropologist...
Zardoz wrote:
Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.


Plonker :D

Bins are a great burglar's tool though. A few years back my American chum came to stay with me and soon learned that once you close an English front door there's no opening it again without a key. Over there you have to lock them before they are locked.

So I used a bin and did a Spiderman but god, it sucked.

Image

Did a quick pic. I had my back to the wall up there on the porch roof and honestly I stood there shitting my pants for over an hour. I kept trying to pluck up the courage to make the 13" or so step onto the window ledge but my legs kept going from underneath me.

In the end I did it and to this day there are still dirty hand marks all over the window frame inside at the top. Mums eyes are not what they once were but I left it there as a memento of the time we got locked out and laugh every time I see it :D

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:41 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 22533
Location: shropshire, uk
JohnCoffey wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.


Plonker :D

Bins are a great burglar's tool though. A few years back my American chum came to stay with me and soon learned that once you close an English front door there's no opening it again without a key. Over there you have to lock them before they are locked.

So I used a bin and did a Spiderman but god, it sucked.

Image

Did a quick pic. I had my back to the wall up there on the porch roof and honestly I stood there shitting my pants for over an hour. I kept trying to pluck up the courage to make the 13" or so step onto the window ledge but my legs kept going from underneath me.

In the end I did it and to this day there are still dirty hand marks all over the window frame inside at the top. Mums eyes are not what they once were but I left it there as a memento of the time we got locked out and laugh every time I see it :D


all the cool kids have oak doors and mortice locks, i can't lock myself out

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:51 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
KovacsC wrote:
i can't lock myself out

Then you might find that you have no house insurance.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:52 
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Esoteric

Joined: 12th Dec, 2008
Posts: 11767
Location: On Mars as an anthropologist...
The front door is solid oak. That's the bin shed door :D

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:53 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 22533
Location: shropshire, uk
Grim... wrote:
KovacsC wrote:
i can't lock myself out

Then you might find that you have no house insurance.


why? a seven lever mortice lock is approved.

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:54 
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Hibernating Druid

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49105
Location: Standing on your mother's Porsche
Mr Dave wrote:
Surely your usual items also include a swimming cap for improved aerodynamics type things while swimming?

I really don't need a swimming cap, Dave.

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 Post subject: Re: The 'Nay!' but 'Yay!' Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:54 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
KovacsC wrote:
Grim... wrote:
KovacsC wrote:
i can't lock myself out

Then you might find that you have no house insurance.

why? a seven lever mortice lock is approved.

My insurance specifies that I have to have an automatic deadlatch, specifically because you can't leave it unlocked (which of course you can, but shh).

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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