Bits & Bobs 45

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 15:04

Morte wrote:

MaliA wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

I find rolling sleeves to be much more acceptable than the short sleeved shirt.

You... you're not... you're not wearing a... tie, are you?

Rolled sleeves if double cuff (because never single cuff, are you at school?)and only if you are about to deliver a baby in the street or something like that.

Ties are bad things most of the time, formal wear only.

This coming from a man wearing a short sleeved shirt...at work! What are you? A junior manager of a shoe shop?

(Of course this is coming from a person sitting in an office where it is over 40 degrees in the sun outside...and wearing a tie).

The au pair has been slacking.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

markg wrote:

Rolled up sleeves make you look like a right sausage. Like David Cameron or somecunt.

Only on proper suity shirts. More casual shirts are fine to roll up.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38457

Double cuffs are for fancy-dancy "I can afford to buy shirts made of natural fibre" types.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 16:16

You're all shirt lifters.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 16:17

On hot days like these you should wear compression stockings, sandals, shorts and a vest.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38457

At least your arms are uncovered :shrug:

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25584

I'm very pregnant.

Frankly I want to sit in the office naked, with a light misting of water spritzed every three seconds all over me and a fan on full blast, whilst standing there eating Ice Cream.

flis · **Joined:** 26th May, 2008 **Posts:** 3333

Mimi wrote:

I'm very pregnant.

Frankly I want to sit in the office naked, with a light misting of water spritzed every three seconds all over me and a fan on full blast, whilst standing there eating Ice Cream.

I have a mid June baby and a late July baby. I very much know where you are coming from and it is a hellishly uncomfortable place. Ice cubes, fans, cool baths.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 20:01

Mimi wrote:

I'm very pregnant.

Frankly I want to sit in the office naked, with a light misting of water spritzed every three seconds all over me and a fan on full blast, whilst standing there eating Ice Cream.

Keep...going..

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 20:05

For reasons I don't understand, my wife just ordered Domino's pizza

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38457

Mimi wrote:

I'm very pregnant.

Frankly I want to sit in the office naked, with a light misting of water spritzed every three seconds all over me and a fan on full blast, whilst standing there eating Ice Cream.

*Adjusts collar*

Jem · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 21:10

You have my sympathies Mimi. The day I had Olly was "THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR SO FAR!!!!111!" according to the papers. I remember going outside to pace only to retreat back in pretty sharpish.

Grim... · **Posted:** Tue Jun 30, 2015 23:37

MaliA wrote:

For reasons I don't understand, my wife just ordered Domino's pizza

Two for Tuesday, innit?

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:41

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

markg wrote:

Rolled up sleeves make you look like a right sausage. Like David Cameron or somecunt.

Only on proper suity shirts. More casual shirts are fine to roll up.

At Yates's.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 01, 2015 10:29

Local paper supplying pictures of bikini clad lovelies at Ilkley Lido.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Lol, official Thomas Was Alone action figures.

http://www.kerrydyer.bigcartel.com/prod ... on-figures

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14356

Brilliant.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 01, 2015 14:18

And thunder!

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

You'd better knock, on wood.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5146

A woman at work mentioned in passing that she didn't know how to turn the aircon on in her Land Rover as there was no button marked AC. I told her to look for the one with a snowflake on, and she said she thought that was only for use in winter (but didn't know what it might do.

She's had this car for 7 years.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16556

Yeah in a Land Rover that is indeed the winter button. Deadly to use it in this heat, you've probably killed her.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jul 01, 2015 18:34

I have no AC.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5146

markg wrote:

Yeah in a Land Rover that is indeed the winter button. Deadly to use it in this heat, you've probably killed her.

Result!

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:12

"Why I'm leaving London"

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14356

MaliA wrote:

"Why I'm leaving London"

Alternatives to London suggested "Birmingham."

That place stinks too. Literally. London and Birmingham have their own foul smell that permeate the entire city. Stinky cities stink.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:26

MaliA wrote:

"Why I'm leaving London"

Surprised the editor didn't insist on a namedrop of Manchester, or is the paper's heritage too uncool for hipsters.

Oxford is practically a suburb of the Smoke these days: all the high prices Londoners love but no Tube to compensate. Grrr.

I fear as I age I am becoming a small town man whilst slowly turning into Mr Pooter.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:31

MaliA wrote:

"Why I'm leaving London"

Quote:

You can go for months in the city without seeing anyone other than a Russian billionaire or Charles Saatchi

Hang on, so when I meet Grim... et al at the quiz, which one is Charles Saatchi?

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16556

It was only the bit about olive shops that tipped me off into reading the rest of it. The Guardian seem to be doing a lot of taking the piss out of themselves lately which is good but I can't help but wonder if acknowledging that it is frequently so laughably middle class, London-centric and twee means that they should be reconsidering their editorial policy a bit. The rest of the paper just seems to steer lots of people away from the good journalism they do still do because the paper is clearly not meant for them.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Yeah, the article is clearly self-referential mocking of trendy journalism.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 11:40

"I like"

No rude shurts, sex toys or morally reprehensible behaviour allowed in Newquay.

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 12:06

MaliA wrote:

"I like"

No rude shurts, sex toys or morally reprehensible behaviour allowed in Newquay.

Good. I used to make sure I visited "dry towns" when I lived in the USA.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 02, 2015 15:01

Great explanations in sales forecasting #3765 in a continuing series by MaliA:

"Sum bleddy 'ot, innit?"

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5146

Well, the bike ride home is going to be pleasant

It's pissing it down.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:57

Bloody Christmas. Roll 0n 19th Dec!

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14487

http://www.nintendolife.com/news/2015/0 ... ected_next

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:36

MaliA wrote:

Great explanations in sales forecasting #3765 in a continuing series by MaliA:

"Sum bleddy 'ot, innit?"

#4257

"Phasing, mate, phasing".

Trousers · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3073

Uuurghh. It all sounds offal

Kern · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 14:56

Today I learned the most useful Excel function ever:

Code:

=ROMAN(number)

EDIT: although it only goes up to MMMCMXCIX, ruining my plan to run it through all my spreadsheets.

GazChap · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 15:54

If you use it with row numbers, and get up to =ROMAN(441144) it calls you a taxi and berates you for not spending any time with the driver.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 16:36

GazChap wrote:

If you use it with row numbers, and get up to =ROMAN(441144) it calls you a taxi and berates you for not spending any time with the driver.

Brilliant.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

On the tube. Need a piss more than I've ever needed a piss.

Grim... · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 20:36

Get off the Tube.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14356

Tie a knot in the tube.

Oh, it's only me that can do that.

*smiley hat smiley*

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

I made it home. FYI.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Bloody hell, mortgage applications are even more of a pain in the arse than they used to be.Fuck you, poor feckless people. You owe me an evening.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Jul 03, 2015 21:15

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Bloody hell, mortgage applications are even more of a pain in the arse than they used to be.Fuck you, poor feckless people. You owe me an evening.

Yes. Yes they are. So MrsA told me

MaliA · **Posted:** Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:59

Skipton Sheep Day!

Grim... · **Posted:** Sun Jul 05, 2015 20:00

The Top 40 is going to be announced on a Friday from now on.

It better not clash with the Mashup.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Sun Jul 05, 2015 20:22

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Bloody hell, mortgage applications are even more of a pain in the arse than they used to be.Fuck you, poor feckless people. You owe me an evening.

Mortgages are for scrubbers.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits & Bobs 45
is the name of your sextape.

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Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits & Bobs 45 is the name of your sextape.

Who is online

Bits & Bobs 45
is the name of your sextape.