Bits & Bobs 44

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Probably could, yes

I think they might be a little surprised.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22277

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38469

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

You just need to build a GUI in Visual Basic first!

KovacsC · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 15:07

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

Do you understand what you wrote?

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 15:08

KovacsC wrote:

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

Do you understand what you wrote?

It's Unix, I know Unix

myp · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 15:09

KovacsC wrote:

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

Do you understand what you wrote?

Do you?!

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 15:27

https://medium.com/backchannel/how-a-lo ... 4268056962

Really interesting article about crowd sourcing tasks.

GazChap · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 15:46

Trooper wrote:

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 16:25

Uber might be reaching bradford!

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22277

KovacsC wrote:

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

Do you understand what you wrote?

Of course I do, I'm a computer hacker.

KovacsC · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 17:54

just checking

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5172

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

What's actually the issue?

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 19:49

Trooper wrote:

KovacsC wrote:

Trooper wrote:

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

Can someone with an ounce of technical knowledge and personality just rock up at our office and come and fix our network please? 3 days of crawling and getting increasingly worse and our adept IT team have said that they may have a solution next week.

Ask them to open up a socket and i'll check the ports from here. I can ping them the contents of the memory stack from a server backtrace, which should help.

Do you understand what you wrote?

Of course I do, I'm a computer hacker.

Never mind helping them, sort ours out!

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5172

My dad and his wife came round earlier, so we could go out for a meal. Unfortunately he can't leave anything alone, so when he saw an ikea bookcase in the hall he had to have a bit of a mess, and managed to flip one of the adjustable shelves off. It landed corner down and left a hole in the vinyl floor. This runs all the way through into the kitchen so if it does start to tear it won't be cheap to replace. Instead of apologising he just seemed to think it was quite funny and "just a bit of wear and tear". When he said it was basically my fault because it wasn't securely attached I had a sense of humour failure and told them to go.

There are times I wish I was adopted.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Feb 18, 2015 21:59

Sorry to hear that.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5172

It would be nice to have a decent relationship with at least one of my immediate family, but it doesn't seem likely any time soon.

Slightly Green · **Joined:** 26th Aug, 2010 **Posts:** 2069

That sucks Dr Z

Sorry to hear that

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 9:35

Local newspaper pun of the day:

This is Oxfordshire wrote:

New parish council plan will end in tiers

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12244

Kern wrote:

Local newspaper pun of the day:

This is Oxfordshire wrote:

New parish council plan will end in tiers

Because the plan is to build a cake?

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12244

Mr Russell wrote:

Kern wrote:

Local newspaper pun of the day:

This is Oxfordshire wrote:

New parish council plan will end in tiers

Because the plan is to build a cake?

Don't believe it anyway, they're just telling storeys.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 9:39

Mr Russell wrote:

Kern wrote:

Local newspaper pun of the day:

This is Oxfordshire wrote:

New parish council plan will end in tiers

Because the plan is to build a cake?

Don't believe it anyway, they're just telling storeys.

That is wrong on so many levels.

Malc · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 9:53

I've always thought you were a man of many layers.

Malc

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:08

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25597

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:13

Alien 5 has been green lit. Neill Blomkamp(sp?) to helm.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:15

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

I should replace all the zeros on his spreadsheet with the letter O. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12244

MaliA wrote:

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

I should replace all the zeros on his spreadsheet with the letter O. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

Convert just one line in a vlookup column from number to text

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:20

Mr Russell wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

I should replace all the zeros on his spreadsheet with the letter O. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

Convert just one line in a vlookup column from number to text

You star!

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25597

MaliA wrote:

Mr Russell wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

I should replace all the zeros on his spreadsheet with the letter O. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

Convert just one line in a vlookup column from number to text

You star!

You are both despicable people.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:23

Mr Russell wrote:

Convert just one line in a vlookup column from number to text

That's just evil.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25597

I really want to shuffle down to the communal area downstairs to check the post in case my unicorn pattern has arrived, but I am wearing a giraffe onesie, and someone always comes out of their flat when I shuffle downstairs...

:shrug:

what do I do :?:

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:24

I seem to spend most of my time fiddling with MS Visio trying to straighten the arrows on my flowcharts. I think the software hates me.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:25

Mimi wrote:

I really want to shuffle down to the communal area downstairs to check the post in case my unicorn pattern has arrived, but I am wearing a giraffe onesie, and someone always comes out of their flat when I shuffle downstairs...

:shrug:

what do I do :?:

hack into the cctv using your phone and check.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:26

Mimi wrote:

I really want to shuffle down to the communal area downstairs to check the post in case my unicorn pattern has arrived, but I am wearing a giraffe onesie, and someone always comes out of their flat when I shuffle downstairs...

:shrug:

what do I do :?:

Wear the onesie with pride.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22277

Mimi wrote:

I really want to shuffle down to the communal area downstairs to check the post in case my unicorn pattern has arrived, but I am wearing a giraffe onesie, and someone always comes out of their flat when I shuffle downstairs...

:shrug:

what do I do :?:

Strut down proudly and get your post.

flis · **Joined:** 26th May, 2008 **Posts:** 3333

Mimi wrote:

I really want to shuffle down to the communal area downstairs to check the post in case my unicorn pattern has arrived, but I am wearing a giraffe onesie, and someone always comes out of their flat when I shuffle downstairs...

:shrug:

what do I do :?:

Go down now before it gets any closer to lunchtime. Also, if someone does see you, great them like they are the weird ones for not wearing a giraffe onesie. Be confident in your giraffe-like state. Is it one with a hood, that has ears and horns...? Put the hood up too, for added "I'm awesome" points.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:28

Is the neighbour a hunter, just back from Africa?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:29

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mr Russell wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mimi wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I sent the assistant to make tea 20 minutes ago. I assume he fell into an oven or something.

I don't know - the complaints to HR procedure can take a while.

I should replace all the zeros on his spreadsheet with the letter O. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

Convert just one line in a vlookup column from number to text

You star!

You are both despicable people.

"Differently ethosed"

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25597

whoop, I did it!

I have my sewing pattern for a mounted unicorn head. Gladys and Peter were coming out of the flat. I think they wait for my door to click and then rush over with the zimmer frame. Peter said 'you're a zebra!' I said 'a giraffe!'. He just looked confused.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:31

Mimi wrote:

whoop, I did it!

I have my sewing pattern for a mounted unicorn head. Gladys and Peter were coming out of the flat. I think they wait for my door to click and then rush over with the zimmer frame. Peter said 'you're a zebra!' I said 'a giraffe!'. He just looked confused.

Not least as your head was poking through their second floor window

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25597

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:34

Giraffes who disguise themselves as zebras rarely survive long enough to pass on camouflage tips.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

You should have solely responded by honking like a giraffe. I have decided that giraffes honk.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22277

It's true, giraffe hygiene isn't the best.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:37

Cras wrote:

You should have solely responded by honking like a giraffe. I have decided that giraffes honk.

Yeah, MrsA hit that stumbling block whilst reading the animal book to The Child. Hippos and Pandas are also a problem.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:37

Cras wrote:

You should have solely responded by honking like a giraffe. I have decided that giraffes honk.

*One google later*

That's Secret Santa 2015 sorted.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:38

MaliA wrote:

Pandas are also a problem.

I don't know how the others tolerate Soo.

myp · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:40

Cras wrote:

You should have solely responded by honking like a giraffe. I have decided that giraffes honk.

No, giraffes say "beep beep awooga."

KovacsC · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:42

Kern wrote:

I seem to spend most of my time fiddling with MS Visio trying to straighten the arrows on my flowcharts. I think the software hates me.

What version, 2013 seems to do this a lot better

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:44

KovacsC wrote:

Kern wrote:

I seem to spend most of my time fiddling with MS Visio trying to straighten the arrows on my flowcharts. I think the software hates me.

What version, 2013 seems to do this a lot better

2007. It doesn't even have the Ribbon. Boo.

We use 2010 for everything else, but not for important flowcharting tasks.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits & Bobs 44
Better late than never

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Bits & Bobs 44 Better late than never

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Bits & Bobs 44
Better late than never