Be Excellent To Each Other

Get laminate floors.

Seriously, tape to lift off the loose bits (press lightly) and then biological washing powder (or something with enzymes) in a solution might work.

Just ignore it. I used to be like this about tiny little scrapes and scratches on my car, it drove me nuts until I discovered just ignoring it.

"Just ignore it" is an awesome solution for all of life's little problems.

Like street harassment!

Burn the house down.

Nuke from orbit?

Never get laminate floors. I hate laminate floors. Bloody laminate floors.

I *only* have laminate floors. It is amazing.

Oh, that's a bugger. Do as everyone has suggested.

Start by vacuuming with the hose attachment: just put the hose vertically over the pollen stain on full blast. Then sticky tape: lay on and lift: do not agitate or rub in any way, do not get wet. Then your solvents* and finally cleaners/detergents.

The likely outcome is that you will lift much of or even remove the stain, but your carpet will likely look lighter in that patch simply on account of it being cleaner, so it might be worth then cleaning your carpet if you do get the stain out.

*As has been mentioned, be careful to test these: things with agents such as acetone will likely dissolve some carpet fibres as they are a form of plastic. If you blot and dry rather than soak you should be able to avoid any disaster. Good luck!

Urgh. Not by choice I hope.

I'd have to smother the floor with rugs.

Pollen is unlikely to be dissolved by regular organic solvents, they may well dissolve your carpet though. You'd probably be better with a weak acid/base solution, but these are more difficult to apply. Vinegar might work, but a decent limescale remover would be better; obviously check colour fastness first.
Alternatively get some benzene, pour the benzene on your carpet, leave for 3 days and then light a match. (don't actually do this).

It wasn't a major selling point, but a nice bonus as I hate carpets due to my asthma.

I do have a rug in the living room, though.

What do you think you are, some sort of scientist or something?

Even Crasters advice?

I didn't realise that carpets were the blight of asthmatics. Carry on.

You monster!

If you have a cat, laminate floors are essential. Nothing is funnier than a high speed cat trying to take a corner on laminate flooring.

I'm not allowed pets in my building.

And not only that, hoovering up cat hair is much easier when it's all on laminate flooring.

(I have no laminate flooring.)

((But then I just don't ever bother hoovering anyway.))

Why, what effort do you put in when hoovering a carpet that you don't do on laminate floor? I hoover all floor surfaces with the same technique; am I somehow doing it wrong?

Pet hair is a fucker, and you have to go over the same patch of carpet over and over again to get it all up.

Laminate floor = less friction, and also doesn't hold on to the dirt, so fewer passes of the hoover.

Malc

How many passes of the Hoover are you expected to make on a carpet?

I think you all need to buy better hoovers. Or get pets with less sticky hair.

Roomba

DJ Roomba!

http://djroomba.com/

So glad you added that last line

They're pretty uninspiring pets.

I have a Dyson.

I shall provide pictures tonight to chronicle the tales of me cleaning a carpet. I'll then post pictures of the carpet in the dog house as that's where I'll be spending the majority of my evening.

Robot pets are a bad idea. The Black Hole, Blade Runner and Space Camp have taught me this.

Make absolutely, 100% certain that there is no wool content or nylon (or any other natural protein fibre content) in your carpet before putting vinegar near it, though. Acids (vinegar, or citric acid for those of us with noses) are what are used to get dyeing agents to be colourfast in wool and all protein fibres as well as fibres with added nylon for strength. That's the exact opposite of what you'd want. To be honest, unless I knew that the carpet had no nylon or wool content I would really avoid vinegar/citric acid and the like as if you are wrong it will pretty much set it forever.

Half Life 2, Doctor Who and Short Circuit disagree, though.

Thanks Mimi. I have some off cuts in the garage which I'm going to test everything on before I apply it to the stain.

I know... Weird isn't it? Me having a sensible idea in all of this. Crazy.

An indestructible giant, a basic pleasure model and a Weber BBQ make the ultimate tag team.

What's the film that's a bit like Short Circuit but they find two flying saucer robots, about the size of dinner plates - who then go on to have baby ones?

Anyway, that's heartbreaking. I always cry when I watch that. I just can't think of what it is called!

Batteries not included - I avoid it for that reason.

That's the one. An hour and a half of heartbreak for little alien robots x

I know.

This illness that is going round has kicked mine and Mrs T's arse this week. Still, back to work for me tomorrow, even though I still feel like shit.

Gool Peran Lowen!

Cornish Gaywood?

Boy was he wrong!

That didn't answer my question, but thanks for the pseudo-history lesson.

Do you know the reason why?

Stop oppressing me.

Back to the tin mines!

I genuinely don't understand why people want to be independent so much.

I know mali was joking when he says about being oppressed, but is there any actual reasons for independence other than 'we think we could run it better'. In which case, might as well have 60 million independent nations.

In the case of Wales and Scotland, how about the fact they've elected barely any Tory MPs in the last forty years, but have spent about half that time governed by the Conservatives? You can see how that might chafe.