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A triumph of human nature
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1415
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Author:  Dudley [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Right, that's it.

I will bring 2 grenades to shunt. Craster can lie on one, I will stand 100m away from the other.

We'll see who's least injured!

Author:  Squirt [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

It doesn't say what was in his back pack. He could have been carry around steel plates.

Also, it could have been any sort of grenade - a brand new shiny one given to the Afghan Army by NATO and then stolen / swiped, a 30 year old relic from the USSR invasion, a dodgy knock-off of a Chinese model made in a backstreet workshop in Pakistan, or a homemade one made of weedkiller in a jam jar. Does make this guy any less brave, but might explain his survival.

Author:  kalmar [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Squirt wrote:
Also, it could have been any sort of grenade


To be fair, it does say it "Blew him into the air" so it wasn't the snap out of a cracker :)

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Squirt wrote:
It doesn't say what was in his back pack. He could have been carry around steel plates.
It does -- something like it was "stuffed with equipment" which, as you say, is a big part of why he survived.

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

The real question is whether he's ever had an operation on his rude bits.

Author:  Squirt [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

They don't let you be a Royal Marine Commando unless you have grade A1 testicular health, and a diseaseless and unblemished penis.

Author:  Dr Lave [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Start a general relativity thread? After the plane debacle? Not a fucking chance!

Author:  Pundabaya [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

I bet lots of NCOs told their boys that 'that guy is the luckiest bastard alive, so don't you go trying it unless you're prepared to get shipped home in a jiffy bag.'

Conceivably, in that sort of conflict, the grenade might not have had any shrapnel at all, being a scavenged concussion grenade, or might have faulty fragment separation (had a hairline crack all the way round the casing, causing it to split into large blunt pieces instead of a thousand needles)

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 15:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Lave wrote:
Start a general relativity thread? After the plane debacle? Not a fucking chance!
Wuss. Maybe special relativity then? That's a bit easier. We could explain time dilation and frames of reference.

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Special relativity I can deal with. I aced that exam at Uni. I think I fell asleep in general relativity though as it was lasting forever (or was that just gravitational time delay. Arf).

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Dudley wrote:
Right, that's it.

I will bring 2 grenades to shunt. Craster can lie on one, I will stand 100m away from the other.

We'll see who's least injured!


I would need to record my observations. You on one, Grim... on the other. No, wait - someone needs to be able to work the forum. You on one, Curiosity on the other. Except that even if he blew up, he'd still be able to get me with a headshot.

Author:  Pundabaya [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Special Relativity: Isn't that what they practise on the Isle of Man?

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Curiosity wrote:
Special relativity I can deal with. I aced that exam at Uni. I think I fell asleep in general relativity though as it was lasting forever (or was that just gravitational time delay. Arf).
Did you do physics Curio?

I did really well in Special relativity. Never did General because I was joint honours. My worst exam was an entire module of the Stochastic Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics -- god, that was hard. I had a flat 40% bare pass, but over half the class failed.

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

I am pleased that it took four physicists 30 posts to spot the flaw in my science. I don't feel quite so stupid.

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

richardgaywood wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Special relativity I can deal with. I aced that exam at Uni. I think I fell asleep in general relativity though as it was lasting forever (or was that just gravitational time delay. Arf).
Did you do physics Curio?

I did really well in Special relativity. Never did General because I was joint honours. My worst exam was an entire module of the Stochastic Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics -- god, that was hard. I had a flat 40% bare pass, but over half the class failed.


Yup.

BsC (Hons) Physics from the University of Manchester.

God, it was dull, and 90% of it was just mathematics, with the occasional interesting foray into particle physics and special relativity.

A Level physics was ace, as I always asked 'why?', and got an interesting theoretical answer. Degree physics was arse, as I asked 'why?' and always got told "Because of this enormous and complicated equation".

:(

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Craster wrote:
I am pleased that it took four physicists 30 posts to force a patently obvious explanation for the flaws in my science into my thick skull. I feel quite stupid.
Unnecessarily-offensive-FTFY.

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Curiosity wrote:
God, it was dull, and 90% of it was just mathematics, with the occasional interesting foray into particle physics and special relativity.
Aye, sounds familar. I was glad of doing joint honours.

Author:  MrChris [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Squirt wrote:
They don't let you be a Royal Marine Commando unless you have grade A1 testicular health, and a diseaseless and unblemished penis.

I heard a story about an Army squaddie who didn't wash his tackle for his entire tour, and it basically turned into a massive mushroom.

I could google for pics for you?

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

richardgaywood wrote:
Craster wrote:
I am pleased that it took four physicists 30 posts to force a patently obvious explanation for the flaws in my science into my thick skull. I feel quite stupid.
Unnecessarily-offensive-FTFY.

:kiss:

Author:  Dr Lave [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

richardgaywood wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Special relativity I can deal with. I aced that exam at Uni. I think I fell asleep in general relativity though as it was lasting forever (or was that just gravitational time delay. Arf).
Did you do physics Curio?

I did really well in Special relativity. Never did General because I was joint honours. My worst exam was an entire module of the Stochastic Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics -- god, that was hard. I had a flat 40% bare pass, but over half the class failed.


I did a general relativity course in my 4th year and it was like being raped.

The professor who taught it, was awful, and even had the audacity to start it with the the following words (spoken in a rich naselly voice): "You might find this difficult - I don't!"

I know you don't you fucking cunt.

I scraped 47% I think. And that was after they fiddled with the bell curve so much they added about 10% to everyones score.

Author:  devilman [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Mr Chris wrote:
I heard a story about an Army squaddie who didn't wash his tackle for his entire tour, and it basically turned into a massive mushroom.


But was he a fun guy to be with?

Author:  Tmuk [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

richardgaywood wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
My worst exam was an entire module of the Stochastic Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics


One of my worst nightmares is suddenly finding myself in an exam with a question paper with a title like that. Naked.
In fact, I still regularly wake up in the middle of the night panicking about some module I have to get finished before the morning, and I left Uni 4 years ago.

Author:  Trousers [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Fucking backpack using fanny. Chuck Norris would have roundhoused that motherfucker back into god damn a-rab faces.

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

richardgaywood wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
God, it was dull, and 90% of it was just mathematics, with the occasional interesting foray into particle physics and special relativity.
Aye, sounds familar. I was glad of doing joint honours.


After failing my second year due to turning up to, oooh, about 7 lectures all year, I tried to switch to Joint Honours as physics was annoying the hell out of me. But they didn't let me do Physics and English, so I decided that I'd better suck it up and struggle on.

Thankfully my lab work and dissertation dragged my frankly terrible exam grades up enough for me to get the damn thing.

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Trousers wrote:
Fucking backpack using fanny. Chuck Norris would have roundhoused that motherfucker back into god damn a-rab faces.

Chuck Norris actually lives in a round house.

Author:  MaliA [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

I think that the guy deserves the commendation.

And he was equally awesome when he said something along the lines of "They would have done the same for me".

Physics aside, he's grade A pure hero.

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

MaliA wrote:
Physics aside, he's grade A pure hero.


Very much so.

Author:  MrChris [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Craster wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Physics aside, he's grade A pure hero.


Very much so.

I bet he knows more about physics than you, too.

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Mr Chris wrote:
Craster wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Physics aside, he's grade A pure hero.


Very much so.

I bet he knows more about physics than you, too.


Clearly he doesn't - he jumped onto a fucking grenade.

Author:  MrChris [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Craster wrote:
Mr Chris wrote:
Craster wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Physics aside, he's grade A pure hero.


Very much so.

I bet he knows more about physics than you, too.


Clearly he doesn't - he jumped onto a fucking grenade.

Holding a backpack, though. He clearly understands kinetic energy. You'd have just landed ass first hoping to smother it.

Author:  NervousPete [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Mr Chris wrote:
Craster wrote:
Whoah, whoah, whoah. Surely you can only translate acceleration into velocity via the medium of distance?

EDIT - time, in fact, but that's effectively the same thing in this case.

Look - go back up a few posts and you'll see the logical reason why you're talking arse - you don't even need to go into the science of it. If you're right, then the closer you are to a grenade the safer you are. Which is patently utter, utter bollocks.

We can of course send you over there to try out your theory? :)


In Craster's world, suicide bombers are either very happy people, or very disappointed people. :)

Author:  Tmuk [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

This is the sort of person I'd like to see honoured, never mind Kylie bleedin' Minogue. Prince Charles even missed the opportunity to slap a rosette on her arse.

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Pah. He probably fell over after being scared by a tiny spider and/or mouse and then made up a story about deliberately jumping on to the grenade.

Author:  Pundabaya [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Mr Chris wrote:
You'd have just landed ass first hoping to smother it.


That's his answer to everything.




...especially cocks.

Author:  Cras [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

It'd probably work, mind.

Author:  CraigGrannell [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Tmuk wrote:
I still regularly wake up in the middle of the night panicking about some module I have to get finished before the morning, and I left Uni 4 years ago.

I regularly get exam or 'homework' dreams. In the end, I realised I get them when I'm pretty close to deadline on a major article. Now I see them as a kind of reminder.

Author:  Pod [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 16:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

I read this in the metero today. He jumped on it, face first, then rolled over. Then after the explosion he had a bloody nose (ouch!). Apparently he said he's nearly getting killed all the time- about 12 times ;)

Still, he is a very brave guy. Top marks, and all that.

Author:  MrChris [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Craster wrote:
It'd probably work, mind.

Maybe, actually. If one considers the percussive force that your arse cheeks are subject to every time you do a Craster SpecialTM one could conclude that they are grenade-proof.

Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Did he level up?

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Zardoz wrote:
Did he level up?


If he'd died and had martyrdom on, they could all have been in trouble.

Author:  sinister agent [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Craster wrote:
But surely at point of explosion, acceleration is huge but distance is almost zero, therefore velocity is almost zero, that's the basis on which I'm working. I'm fairly sure I'm talking cobblers, but I'm not sure why.


Okay, imagine a little explosion inside a case full of wire. Upon detonation - regardless of where in the world the grenade is - it forces the wire and case outwards with great force in all directions. They'll all go at about the same speed with aboutthe asme force, regardless of what's surrounding them.

The only difference is, if you're sat on top of the grenade, a whole load of them would go further because they'd be flying through the air, while some wouldn't go as far, because they'd be cushioned by your soft, weak flesh and internal organs.

Yeah, the blast would go 'further' on the side you're not covering, but only because your body's not in the way. Velocity isn't a matter - force is, and the minute the grenade goes off, the shrapnel is going to penetrate your flesh with the same amount of force as the shrapnel flying into the air is ... er, flying into the air.


Also, consider your 'hug the grenad to stop the velocity' approach, and then look at his backpack. That's your abdomen, that is.


But yes, what a fucking trooper, eh? I'd be very happy to buy him a drink if the opportunity came up.

Then I could get a more expensive one when it's his round.

Edit: Sorry, I didn't read all the thread, because I am fat and undisciplined.

Author:  DBSnappa [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Grim... wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Wouldn't the confinement of the grenade by said Marine cause the blast to exit at the sides faster, in the same way as a bullet comes out of a gun?


No, because there is signifcant 'give' or dampening force in the human body.


I assume he'd have had a flack jacket on, though.


Of course. I also think it's highly likely that said backpack might have been worn on his front as well as another "backpack" on his back. They regularly carry a LOT of equipment in both front and rear packs - depends on the length of time away from base the manoeuvres are. Incidentally, when I did the stills for the rubbish ITV series Bad Lads' Army I spent a lot of time with army bods, several of whom had survived blasts in Iraq and they all said the same thing. If you can hear the explosion, you're alive, which made me laugh at the time.

Author:  GazChap [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

If there's anyone who deserves the nickname "Ironballs", it's this guy.

Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

'Tatty pack'

Author:  sinister agent [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 17:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Mash.

To go with bangers, see.

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 18:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Zardoz wrote:
'Tatty pack'
"Son, what the fuck! Look at the mess you pack is in! Get the fuck down on the ground and give me twenty, then fuck off back to base and repack it!"[/Gunnery Sergeant Hartman]

Author:  tossrStu [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 18:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Want to see what actually happens when someone jumps on a grenade? It happens around 2:45 in this video:



So can we lay the argument to rest now?

Author:  Malc [ Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

tossrStu wrote:
Want to see what actually happens when someone jumps on a grenade? It happens around 2:45 in this video:



So can we lay the argument to rest now?


who says the Germans don't have a sense of humour!

Malc

Author:  metalangel [ Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

Dast ist ein American film!

Author:  Plissken [ Fri Jul 25, 2008 14:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: A triumph of human nature

MetalAngel wrote:
Dast ist not ein American film!


Ist ein Space Station!

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