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Bits and Bobs 48
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=10936
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Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 15:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Findus Fop wrote:
Mr Russell knows what's up.

Yarp.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 15:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Findus Fop wrote:
Aren't you off to Singapore, Mr C?

We'll make the company pay to relocate the dog as well. The other plan was to get a dog while we're out there and then have it shipped back with us, but we're getting a bit desperate.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

This is the other one we're considering
Image
It's a bedlington-whippet cross rather than bedlington-feck knows.

Author:  Squirt [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

You know that's TWO dogs, right?

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Squirt wrote:
You know that's TWO dogs, right?

The one at the back is the mum. The puppy is the one at the front.

Author:  myp [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Second one is a winner for me.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Lonewolves wrote:
Second one is a winner for me.

I think they're both ridiculously gorgeous, but we've got a massive soft spot for Bedlingtons, particularly the whippet crosses. Our neighbour has one (and a big arse wolfhound thing) that we take for walks. She loves the kids so will actually just hop their wall and come and see the boys if they're in the garden. When they got back from holiday recently the first thing Jazz did was jump over their wall and come and scratch on our door :)

Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Lunch and Dinner.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Mr Russell wrote:
Lunch and Dinner.

Don't yuck my yums, dude.

Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Lunch and Dinner.

Don't yuck my yums, dude.

Suggesting names for the cute puppies!

They're gorgeous, but probably best to just get one, and also let the kids pick.

Author:  Mr Russell [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Also, apologies if serious.

Author:  MaliA [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Mr Russell wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Lunch and Dinner.

Don't yuck my yums, dude.

Suggesting names for the cute puppies!

They're gorgeous, but probably best to just get one, and also let the kids pick.


Get both, and make the kids drown one to teach them the value of loss

Author:  MaliA [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MaliA wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
Lunch and Dinner.

Don't yuck my yums, dude.

Suggesting names for the cute puppies!

They're gorgeous, but probably best to just get one, and also let the kids pick.


Get both, and make the kids drown one to teach them the value of loss


Get both and drown a kid.

Author:  Squirt [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

Author:  Satsuma [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Dog one for the win. He ain't got no mommy and needs a mommy. You be his mommy.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Squirt wrote:
Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

That would only work if I had one posh kid and one cockney layabout.

Author:  Squirt [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
Squirt wrote:
Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

That would only work if I had one posh kid and one cockney layabout.

Wait, you mean you don't? How are you raising these kids, man?

Author:  MaliA [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 16:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Squirt wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Squirt wrote:
Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

That would only work if I had one posh kid and one cockney layabout.

Wait, you mean you don't? How are you raising these kids, man?


He should get a third. And two dogs.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MaliA wrote:
Squirt wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Squirt wrote:
Get one, assign one to each child, and then at the end of their training make them shoot it to prove how tough and ruthless they are.

That would only work if I had one posh kid and one cockney layabout.

Wait, you mean you don't? How are you raising these kids, man?


He should get a third. And two dogs.

*narrows eyes*

Author:  Cras [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

An extra child, two dogs, and an irritated baboon. That way the kids compete not to be worst child, because worst child has to play with the baboon.

Author:  Squirt [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Cras wrote:
An extra child, two dogs, and an irritated baboon. That way the kids compete not to be worst child, because worst child has to play with the baboon.

As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you get to play with the irritated baboon.

Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

I keep on reading that as an irradiated baboon.

Author:  Squirt [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

The irradiated baboon is for when a child is really naughty.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.

Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


Racist

Author:  MaliA [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 17:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MaliA wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

Author:  Bobbyaro [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 18:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

The dog comes with a free kid

Author:  Cras [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 18:08 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

And a baboon.

Author:  MrChris [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 18:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Cras wrote:
And a baboon.

I have two of those already.

Author:  Kern [ Tue Jan 31, 2017 18:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


Packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus.

Author:  Grim... [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 0:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
MaliA wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

Yeah? I keep thinking I should do that. Is it horrible?

Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 0:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Grim... wrote:
MrChris wrote:
MaliA wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

Yeah? I keep thinking I should do that. Is it horrible?

Ask Hearthly

Author:  ApplePieOfDestiny [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 0:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

DavPaz wrote:
Grim... wrote:
MrChris wrote:
MaliA wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

Yeah? I keep thinking I should do that. Is it horrible?

Ask Hearthly

He's too busy repeatedly banging on about Kashmiri peppers to give it his full attention currently.

Author:  Cras [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 0:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Do not mix the two. I cannot see a vasectomy that involves Kashmiri peppers being a pleasant experience.

Author:  TheVision [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 1:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Grim... wrote:
MrChris wrote:
MaliA wrote:
MrChris wrote:
Soooo, looks like we're getting the brown one (Nelly) on Sunday.


And the kid?

Quite literally fuck off.

I would rather have bits of my tubes cut off. Oh! I did.

Yeah? I keep thinking I should do that. Is it horrible?


Nah. Piece of cake.

I watched them do mine. The tubes are like noodles!

Author:  Kern [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 9:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

ThisisOxfordshire: Witney is 'no fun' anymore.

Quote:
A JOKE shop is preparing to leave Witney after 15 years – with the owners saying the town is simply not as fun as it used to be.

Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 9:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

TheVision wrote:
I watched them do mine. The tubes are like noodles!


[childish penis-like-a-noodle joke here, please sub]

Author:  MrChris [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Mine was an odd one - I had it done under local anaesthetic at the local medical centre (not the hospital). All was fine as he sliced me open, but then my heart rate and blood pressure plummeted once he started messing about with my tubes (ooer) and he stopped the operation. He said my body was apparently aware it had basically had a massive kick in the genitals and was responding accordingly. It was weird - I was fine in myself but my body was not happy at all. So I then went and had it done under general anaesthetic a few weeks later. I was a bit sore for two or three days, but nothing major.

Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Having a vasectomy is just like going to the dentists really.

Apart from a man shaves your balls and you can feel your testicles being pulled about and then you get an infection.

Author:  myp [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

Author:  MrChris [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Lonewolves wrote:
It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

If that's the case then they're doing being married with kids wrong.

Author:  MrChris [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Zardoz wrote:
Having a vasectomy is just like going to the dentists really.

Apart from a man shaves your balls and you can feel your testicles being pulled about and then you get an infection.

No, that sounds quite a lot like some dentists.

Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

I make the time. The energy? That's what caffeine if for

Author:  MrChris [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

DavPaz wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

I make the time.

Does MrsDavpaz?

Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

MrChris wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.

I make the time.

Does MrsDavpaz?

That such a man thing to say.

Author:  Curiosity [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.


We let our wives look after the kids while we go out and have sex with hookers.

Author:  MaliA [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Curiosity wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.


We let our wives look after the kids while we go out and have sex with hookers.


Pretty, much?

Author:  myp [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Curiosity wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.


We let our wives look after the kids while we go out and have sex with hookers.

Unprotected sex with hookers?

Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 48

Curiosity wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I don't know why you guys who are married with kids get it done. It's not like you have time or energy for sex anymore anyway.


We let our wives look after the kids while we go out and have sex with hookers.

Image

I prefer wingers.

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